Not Gonna Die Tonight
by ReaderAloud
Summary: "She's got a heavy heart, a messy soul, a reckless mind and I think it's beautiful the way she carries herself." Harva Akiyama is a criminal with two choices; jail or the Survey Corps. As she enters the 103rd cadet squad, she learns it's not just about survival, but trusting others, something she struggles with, especially when she believes the enemy is inside everyone. Future OCX?
1. A Friendly Introduction

**A/N: Thank you for clicking on here to read this. It means a lot to me, the reason it has been rated M is because the future events that I will be writing about are very dark. Also, I feel like Attack on Titan is a twisted story as well so they go hand in hand. There is also going to be a future relationship with Harva and a mystery character, though I don't intend there to be any explicit scenes there will be adult themes running through it.**

 **I would also like to clarify that the main OC is Harva. You will be seeing the story through her eyes. The other OC character, Nova, is one my friend created, who may be getting future chapters of her own depending on what you guys think.**

 **One final thing before you continue; this is set in the year 846, and is starting in the 103rd cadet class.**

 **Enjoy!**

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 **Chapter 1:**

 _"_ _Where is this stupid kid?" The voice was unfamiliar to me._

 _"_ _Who cares? The little monster probably ran away." Another man spoke. A whack came from the anonymous voices direction, followed with a little whelp._

 _"_ _You fucking kidding me now? She's the whole reason for this commotion. If we return back to the MP's without the girl we have only done half the job!"_

 _"_ _Or we can just say we killed her too?"_

 _"_ _If we did we would have to get rid of the evidence…"Their voices ebbed away into nothing. I didn't want to hear them any more. The sight above me was unholy._

 _Red. That was all I could see. Red was on the floor, red was above me. I couldn't tell whose blood was whose. I didn't care. I couldn't. All I could see was red. Its heat singed my cheek, as it spilled down into my ear. Tears flooded my vision and poured into my ears. There was an eerie silence; I had never heard such an awful silence. It was a silence that screamed truth, something we always seem to strive for, but when it becomes too much for us to handle, we wish it would lie. Only I couldn't lie about this truth, I can't escape it. I couldn't see, I couldn't hear. I was both blinded and deafened._

 _"_ _Mom-mmy" Was the only bubble of speech to come out of my mouth before I saw a new colour. One I welcomed and feared. Blackness._

My eyes snapped open. Adjusting to the light I saw a face hovering over me. A face that looked slightly familiar, but I couldn't recall her name.

"Hey, it's Harva right?" My mouth fumbled over what to say, I settled with a nod. "You're sweating like a sinner at church." She nodded towards the bed. I wasn't sure if that was her way of trying to ask I was ok. I was disorientated; I sat up and breathed a sigh of relief as the blanket fell off. Leaving my body to breathe, sure enough I was sweating badly.

"Did I scream?" The question threw the girl off, but she responded,

"No. Why?"

"Because I usually do." She leaned away and pushed a piece of brown hair away from her eyes. She crossed her arms,

"Great, so I get stuck with a screamer as a roommate." _'That's right. She is my roommate.'_

"Nova, is it?" She nodded, "Sorry that I woke you up." I stood up and pushed away from her. Preparing some fresh clothes.

"You didn't, I'm an early riser." I nodded.

"Can I join you?" I presumed from her attire she was going to go and get some training in before wake up hours. She shrugged her shoulders,

"Sure. I'll wait outside for you." I waited until the door shut behind me before I slumped to the ground. _'I still can't remember them…the terrors.'_ I leaned against the wall before whispering to myself.

"Winging and worrying about it won't help. Just get up and do what you do best." I stood up and got dressed into my cadet gear, minus the jacket. When I opened the door Nova was leaning on the opposite wall. She swung by me and began to walk down the corridor. When I caught up with her she began to speak,

"So, you're new around here. I mean, like you just came here last night right?" I nodded and replied,

"Yes. I just got sent to our room, it was way past curfew." She stretched her arms while walking,

"No kidding, you nervous?"

"What? About starting our training?" My eyes watched my feet. My voice was dead.

"No." She chuckled and I looked at her. To my surprise she seemed genuine,

"Shit. You must have been through hell." I narrowed my eyes suspiciously,

"As must have you. I heard you were from Shiganshina." She stopped in the hallway and just looked out towards a window. I saw a lot of things in her eyes. Pain, anger, sadness. They were the main things,

"Yeah. I was there." My excitement peeked,

"so you've seen them? Up close?" She looked surprised by my interest in the titans. But then took the defensive.

"Yeah. Look, I don't know what you're thinking, but you should know that those titans…they're monsters. They don't deserve to be in this world." I felt my gaze drop _. 'I wonder what you'd think of me…if you knew.'_

"That is why we are here, right? To help humanity?" She snorted and she walked through the nearby door. I followed suit.

This was it. The place I would be calling home for the next three years. If I survived that is. I would be part of the 103rd trainee's squad, three years of what I presumed to be gruelling, agonising work. And it was supposedly all worth it, the promise of killing titans for saving humanity, that, or a ticket to a lap of luxury, three meals a day and no titans. However the latter seemed to me personally the more hostile. I had learnt through my life that humans are always the enemy, you can't rely on them. The only person you can rely on is yourself, and even then, if you aren't confident in yourself, you're screwed.

The outside was a huge arena of dried dirt, hardly any obstructions. Just an open plain area, perfect for practising sprints or laps. Around the outskirts of the area were several beams and obstacles. Nova broke the silence,

"I'm gonna do some laps. Join me if you think you can keep up." She seemed confident in her ability, good sign, just hope she doesn't kill herself in arrogance.

"No thanks, I'm going over there." I pointed at a beam that was about eight feet off the ground. Nova shrugged,

"Suit yourself." And she walked away stretching as she went.

~O~

"Remind me again, how long has she been like that?" I squinted an eye open, only just enough to see who was enquiring about me. It was a tall male, blonde and lightly built; at least that is what I thought he looked like. Considering I was upside down, it was a bit difficult to tell how tall he was. Nova shrugged her shoulders looking bored,

"Fifteen, maybe twenty minutes?" The blonde boy spoke again, he seemed bitter,

"Why is she even doing that?" This time another blonde male spoke about the same height as the other. This one had his hair tied out of the way in a bun. He spoke in a more worried tone,

"do you think she passed out? Should we get her down?" The other male snorted,

"You can if you want. I like seeing her like this. She's the newbie." As if that had some kind of resonance everyone whispered in nervous chatter.

I sighed; to which everyone seemed to react to, as if I had just thrown up or was some other nasty smell. They all took a step back. I breathed out,

"That won't be necessary." Again, a nervous whisper ran through the small crowd as I lifted myself onto the beam. I sat there for a few seconds as the blood seeped back into my body. My eyes opened, and spoke directly to the taller of the two blonde males, the one that had an annoying ring to his voice,

"I've heard that a lot of the soldiers fighting on the front line get faulty gear, or they become stuck in the trees, sometimes upside down." He crossed his arms,

"so what?" I shrugged my shoulders,

"so, if it were to happen to me, I want to be conscious for as long as possible if I were in that position. I'm training myself up." He snorted,

"sounds like you want to go into the suicide squad." I raised an eyebrow,

"what of it?"

"Nothing, personally I'd rather have three meals a day brought to me." My eyes narrowed. So, he's one of them, a wannabe Military Police Member. I stood and jumped nimbly off the beam, landing right in front of the blonde boy.

"Well, I hope you enjoy slacking off like a pig while there are other people giving their lives so you can enjoy that." Though I was several inches shorter than him I felt the shift in his attitude towards me. He immediately became more shrewd and cautious. I continued to stare, knowing he saw inside them as what I felt. Cold, dead, empty. A look that scared everyone, even me. A girl with black hair spoke up then,

"The bell for breakfast just went. We should get something into us before it begins." I nodded at her and moved silently away, not looking back.

When I got into the food hall I decided to sit in the empty table in the corner. I sat down and began to nibble on my bread and cheese, hopefully not drawing too much attention to myself. I looked around and saw Nova in the line for food. She was staring at me as well; we didn't share smiles or heart-warming exchanges. She had familiar look in her eye, one of darkness. I would have continued to stare at her if it weren't for a chirpy voice to interrupt me,

"hey, mind if I sit here?" A male's voice came from behind me, I turned and recognised the guy. He was the one who asked if they should set me back up on the beam. His smile was warm and welcoming and his eyes were the colour of clear blue water. He had an earnest and somewhat gentle appearance, even though he looked like he was built like an ox. I nodded at the seat opposite me. He took the gesture and thanked me. I clasped my hands together and stared at him intently, he at first tried to act disinterested but after about a minute he cracked.

"Do you always introduce yourself like that?"

"Yes." He chuckled and replied,

"Ah, not great at social situations?" I shook my head. Moreover, it's a force of habit to not give your name out so willingly. Where I come from, a name is all you have; It's your most valuable treasure. Lose it, or letting it fall into the wrong hands can lead to a world of trouble. "Then let me start. I'm Oslo." He reached his hand over the table, I took it and he shook it.

"Harva." With a mouthful of bread he spoke,

"Unusual name, I like it." The mouthful of bread seemed to handicap his ability to speak and that was all he could say, otherwise the bread would spill out of his mouth. I surprised myself in smiling for the first time in what seemed like a long time. A genuine smile, that I could feel myself becoming warmer and happier just by looking at Oslo attempting to eat the bread.

I had a good feeling about him.

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 **Please leave a review and feedback if you want! Don't hesitate to message me also if you have any queries, though things should be explained as the story goes along.**


	2. A Not So Friendly Introduction

**A\N:For future reference, I will be trying to post up a chapter every 10-14 days. This is due to many factors such as schoolwork and other stuff. It is also because I intend them to be big chapters with about three parts to them. Some might come about once a week but we shall see.**

 **Also, I only own the 103rd cadet group. Nothing else!**

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 **Chapter 2**

"STRAIGHTEN THOSE SPINES WORMS! THE 103rd BOOT CAMP STARTS NOW! ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF I'M CHIEF INSTRUCTOR HYOUSUKE ICHIKO AND YOU WILL GROW TO HATE ME! TRAINING IS GONNA BE A RIDE THROUGH HELL. IF I'VE DONE MY JOB PROPERLY YOU'LL BE WAKING UP IN COLD SWEATS EVERY MORNING FOR THE REST OF YOUR MISERABLE LIVES! RIGHT NOW YOU'RE NOTHING, LIVESTOCK AND FOR THE NEXT THREE SOUL CRUSHING YEARS YOU'LL LEARN TO TAKE DOWN YOUR OWN GOLIATH. REMEMBER THIS MOMENT WHEN YOU COME FACE TO FACE WITH HIM. ASK YOURSELF, AM I A FIGHTER? OR AM I FEED? AM I GONNA BE THE ONE TO BE CRUSHED UP INSIDE BOULDER SIZED INCISORS, OR AM I GONNA BITE?" He paused for a moment so he could look us all over. No one else was looking at him, or at least from what I could tell. We made eye contact for a brief moment, his eyes bored into mine. I couldn't look away from, as if I was in a vice grip. It was the longest second in my life and once he looked away I felt as if a fire had been put out of my stomach. He began to walk into the front of the cadets, and stopped in the middle. I was in the middle of the lines of people and so had a clear view of his onslaught, "WHAT DO THEY CALL YOU SNIVLER?!" A short boy with blonde hair was trembling before the looming shadow of Shadis; he managed to put his hand over his heart before squeaking out,

"OSIAS AMOR OF THE UTOPIA DISTRICT, SIR!" Ichiko leaned in and continued to shout, spitting all over Osias,

"AND WHAT WILL I WANT WITH A MOUSE LIKE YOU? WHAT IS YOUR MOTIVATION CADET?"

"TO HELP PRESERVE MAN-KIND, SIR!"

"AND HOW DO YOU PLAN ON DOING THAT AMOR? YOU'D BE NOTHING BUT A LIGHT SNACK FOR THE TITANS! IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO?" The boy sounded as if he was ready to start crying,

"I'M AFRAID SO, SIR!"

"ROW ONE, ABOUT FACE!" They all turned round and I could see Osias's face clearly, He had big brown eyes and the kid looked like he might pass out. But before I could look any further I heard shouting right into my ear drums,

"PONYTAIL! YOU'RE UP NEXT!" I reflexively tensed up but as I looked up towards him I found he wasn't even looking at me, but the person next to me. Oslo firmly placed his hand on his heart and puffed out his chest a little,

"SIR! OSLO GOTHAM AT YOUR SERVICE, SIR!"

"GOTHAM! WHERE ARE YOU FROM AND WHERE DO YOU WANT TO END UP?"

"I'M FROM THE STOHESS DISTRICT AND I STRIVE TO BE A SCOUT, SIR!"

"So you've got a death wish have you?" Oslo paused, "ANSWER ME!"

"IT APPEARS SO, SIR!" Ichiko stopped to look at me, to which I was unknowingly staring at him.

"AND WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?" I tensed again at his harsh voice. It made me want to bolt or attack or do something, I don't know, but standing here made me feel uncomfortable. Nonetheless I stood my ground and spoke clearly,

"Nothing, sir." My less than stellar reaction to him seemed to piss him off,

"THEN WHAT IS YOUR NAME AND WHERE DO YOU COME FROM?" Good question. Where do I come from? I didn't know, but he wasn't going to settle for that so I thought of the last place that really was a home to me. I put my hand on my heart and spoke, a dead but clear tone again,

"My name is Harva Akiyama and I hail from the Underground City!" There were sharp inhales from several cadets who heard those words. In the corner of my eyes I saw Oslo looking down sat me on my right side and Nova to my left. I kept my gaze on Ichiko though, his eyes grew large for just a fraction of a second before he regained his authoritative demeanour and spoke in a much more hushed tone,

"You're…Akiyama? You're the kid Erwin Smith, Commander of the Survey Corps, requested us to train you?" I knew what he was thinking, he was looking at a scrawny, tiny girl who looks as if she couldn't even lift a plate. All I wanted to do was to say to his face then and there was that I am a lot stronger than I look. But I held back my tongue,

"Yes, sir." Just then Ichiko began laughing, his head snapped back and he roared in hysterics. I turned to Oslo who still held a look of shock and now confusion. I turned to Nova who was now appearing to hold a look of disgust at Ichiko.

After his fit was over he just looked down at me and spoke menacingly,

"Well then, Akiyama, you have big boots that need filling." He turned and walked straight past Nova. She murmured under her breath,

"Shit. I knew I had a good feeling about you." I turned slightly to look her. Her face was an empty void again.

"A good feeling?"

"You're my challenge." I read her in an instant. _'She was a top ten contender, I'm sure of it. The way she holds herself cries experience and power. She knows it and is sizing up the game, deciding who is her prey and who is a challenge. Apparently, living in the underground city made her decide I was up to the challenge of these three years. And I'm up to your challenge. She is not just my roommate, she'd be my partner, the one I'd train with, the one I'd strive to be better then. I decided. She was up to a challenge and I would gladly accept her offer. She may be wanting to be the best, and she has the experience but so did I. Nova, we will be partners and I'll make sure of it.'_

I turned back face the front remaining motionless as I heard Ichiko shout,

"MARGOT GOTHAM? YOU RELATED TO PONYTAIL?"

"YES SIR! HE'S MY TWIN!" I glanced at Oslo who looked a little worried.

"AND DO YOU WISH TO FOLLOW YOUR BROTHER INTO THE TITANS MOUTH?"

"IF THAT IS WHAT IT TAKES TO SAVE HUMANITY THEN YES, SIR!"

"ROW SIX ABOUT FACE!" I turned in unison with all the other comrades. In the next row, row seven, a tall brunet had turned with us. The rest of his row was looking in utter shock at him. And of course, Ichiko did not miss it.

"SHIT BRAIN!" He had strode over to the brunet and heaved him back round to what I could only imagine to be the stare of death. "DID I ORDER YOU TO TURN AROUND?" The guy saluted Ichiko before shouting back,

"I MADE A MISTAKE SIR! I AM VERY SORRY!"

"SORRY AIN'T GONNA CUT IT IN TRAINING! GIVE ME YOUR NAME AND TELL ME WHY I SHOULDN'T WHIP YOUR SORRY ASS BACK TO THE FIELDS!"

"SARCHOSA MILGNAN OF TROST DISTRICT! I STRIVE TO BE IN THE MILITARY POLICE TO ENFORCE LAW AND ORDER!"

"THE ONLY USE I CAN THINK OF FOR YOU IS BASHING YOUR THICK SKULL ON TITANS! NOT KEEPING THE PEACE IN THE INTERIOR! ROW SEVEN! ABOUT FACE!" They all turned, Sarchosa included.

The rest of the morning continued with Ichiko screaming into our faces, going back and forth, meticulously brainwashing us. He came up and down all the rows at least four times, each time picking on the same people, and leaving the ones he left out before. Except for me, he didn't shout one more word at my face again.

He began moving away from the squad altogether and began his relentless shouting again. "Now that that exercise is all done, allow me to really get down to business! You have just started the three year exercise of turning you into weapons and soldiers. Not daffodils and pansies! That little interrogation was for you to become a new slate for us to mould you, turn you into the titan's worst nightmare. If you can't handle that then I suggest you leave tonight on the band wagon!" He paused to wave his hand. A small woman appeared by his side, "Captain Genmei will now read to you what will be happening from tomorrow till three years down the line!"

"Thank you Chief. I will be your Captain. My name is Akita and the words on this paper will be your soul and life for the next three years! I suggest you think carefully if this is what you want."

"Just get on with it already." Murmured Nova, I couldn't help but twitch my lips.

"I was thinking the exact thing." Akita,

"This is the training you will be performing in, you will be expected to pass in _all_ areas to graduate. You will be trained in ODM, the gear used to kill titans. This is everything from buckle polishing to aerial manoeuvring. Body Core Training. One of the most crucial body components to good ODM usage. Agility Training. Being agile so that the enemy won't bite your head off. Theory Training. Boring your head off with the knowledge that'll save your life. Endurance Training. Good constitution equals living to fight another day. Hand to hand training. Who knows the enemy really? IFT (In field training). This will cover horse riding to field work.

 _DAY TO DAY ROUTINE:_

 _6:30-7:00| Waking up._

 _7:00-7:30| Breakfast_

 _7:30-9:00| Morning check-up\warmup_

 _9:00-13:00| AM Training_

 _13:00-14:00| Lunch_

 _14:00-18:00| PM Training_

 _18:00-19:30| Dinner_

 _19:30-22:00|Freetime_

 _22:00| Lights out_

 _Monday:_

 _AM: ODM gear Training_

 _PM: ODM gear Training_

 _Tuesday:_

 _AM: Endurance Training_

 _PM: Hand to Hand Training_

 _Wednesday:_

 _AM: Agility Training_

 _PM: ODM gear Training_

 _Thursday:_

 _AM: Core Training_

 _PM: Theory Training_

 _Friday:_

 _AM: ODM gear Training_

 _PM: Core Training_

 _Saturday:_

 _AM: IFT_

 _PM: IFT_

 _Sunday: Day off._

If this doesn't sound appeasing to you then I suggest you clear up and head to the fields. You will have the rest of the day to make your choice. If you're here tomorrow morning, then we'll be inclined to believe you've decided to stay for the three years."

Hyousuke Ichiko stood in view again, his hands were behind his back and his posture steady. He sized us up, staring at us with a steely glare before speaking,

"now that you know what you're in for, you are all dismissed for today. I'll see you pissheads tomorrow, or at least, most of you." He saluted, and we saluted back before he walked away, leaving us to decide our fates.

The murmurs and hushed voices were agonising to listen to. Everyone was in groups of three or four already. Even though Ichiko had only just dismissed us, I could hear people already talking animatedly. I walked through the groups, back towards the hut.

"I don't think I can take the pressure!"

"Forget this, I'm going the fields."

 _'_ _Fools. Do you think you'll be safe ploughing away fields? The enemy is out there, and no matter where you are, they'll still be there. Fighting is the only way to make sure you give not only yourself, but humanity a chance.'_

"That's the Underground City girl, I wonder how she even got up here."

"You know what to expect from her. She'll be one of _them_. A scavenger, a street-rat." I stopped dead in my tracks. I turned around to see a group, some I knew off the bat from my first encounter with them. The ring leader I could tell straight away was Finnian Claymore. A tall, blonde hair blue eyed guy. I guess girls would call him a heartthrob. Next was Scarlet Steel, an unusual looking girl, muscular with fire red hair, a green eye and an amber one. She looked to be rather standoffish. And then we had Sarchosa Milgnan and who I presumed to be Selene Kyle. She clung onto him as if her life depended on it, her hands couldn't even wrap around his bicep.

I was about to turn away and walk off but an all too familiar voice echoed from behind me.

"What's the problem with street rats?" I turned around fully to see Nova. Her arms crossed and looking beyond unimpressed. Her eyes seemed to be burning, like a wild green fire. Scarlet turned to her,

"And what's it to you?" Nova's eyes narrowed,

"Street rats stick together." Finnian laughed,

"Yeah I bet. You two probably sleep and bathe together as well. That way you feel more at home. Not used to a bed are you?" Nova began to walk towards him, her fist clenched ready for a punch. He seemed ready too. My weapon however, was far quicker than Nova's, and far deadlier. I let it loose,

"Look around you Finnian Claymore. You see targets, punch bags? Well I can tell you right now that you're eyes are lying. I see people who have struggled, people that are stronger than you could ever hope to be because they've fought. And not because they want to, but had to." I looked at him again, moving into him, the others moved away, but he stayed put. I went on my tip toes and whispered, "You've never had to fight, and you're already giving up on the world by going down the path you've chosen." And with that I turn away, but a few seconds after leaving him, too stumped to move he shouted,

"You filthy bitch! You won't last two days here! You hear me street rat!" I continued to walk,

"I hear you loud and clear. You're wrong though. We street rats know how to survive, it's what we do on a day to day basis. Cowards however don't stand a chance." I then heard a noise I was too familiar with. The sound of a bone cracking under a force. From that one noise I knew I'd see someone with blood gushing out of their nose and a fist raised. I looked over and saw exactly that. Finnian Claymore had fallen to the ground; his hands cradling a bloody nose, blood had begun pouring down his hands. Above him was a smug looking Nova.

~O~

"She really is an idiot!" Oslo had said for the fourth time. His twin, Margot, was with us. We were sitting outside our bunk. I was leaning against a column, Oslo had sat on the fence and Margot was leaning on it. We were all looking at a small black spec in the distance. Margot continued her brother's thoughts,

"If she had waited for trials on hand to hand tomorrow then she might have got away with it." I sighed,

"that was my intention. But, I reckon I won't get the chance now." The sun had just set, leaving a pink hue over the training camp. Nova didn't seem to be too bothered about the six hour run Ichiko had ordered her to do in punishment.

"She only has half an hour left. We should see if we can grab her some food before it all goes." Oslo cares way too much about the wrong people,

"Tch. She can fend for herself." Margot seemed a bit shocked by my words,

"That's a little cold isn't it?"

"Probably." Oslo chuckled but looked at his sister,

"don't think too much of it Margot, go work your magic." Her eyes lit up and she nodded. Bouncing away I turned back to her brother and raised an eyebrow,

"We all have our talents. Speaking of which, what's yours?" I shrugged my shoulders,

"Where I come from, you have to be a jack of all trades to survive. I'm nothing spectacular."

"Well that's bullshit if I ever head it. If Erwin Smith specially requested you be put in to boot camp then I'd say you've got something he wants." I turned away from Oslo to look out beyond the walls of the camp.

"So, the scouts. Heard it's scary out there. You sure that's where you wanna be?" Oslo chuckled, as if to make light of a heavy topic,

"Yeah. Margot too, we have a big family so we will take anything like that to get out of the house for few weeks." He sighed and looked out to Nova, "She really seems to be enjoying it. Anyway, what regiment will you be joining?"

"Isn't it obvious?" He raised an eyebrow. Obviously not. "Scout regiment." He took a few seconds to process it but then he seemed to get it.

"Oh, Erwin Smith asked you to be here, so I guess that makes a lot of sense." I rolled my eyes. I paused and then added hesitantly,

"I'd appreciate if you didn't say anything to anyone outside of the camp." He smiled,

"My lips are sealed."

"Let's get back inside. We won't miss much out here." He followed me in.

Though the food had been cleared from the room, there were a lot of people still in there. Oslo, Margot and I were able to get a table in the corner to ourselves, chatting idly while we waited for Nova.

"Enjoy ourselves?" Oslo remarked as Nova came through the door. She was huffing deeply, a sheen of sweat as over body. She slumped down onto a chair and grabbed the jug in the middle of the table. She poured herself a glass, chugged it down and did it a three more times. She was still heaving but managed to get out,

"You wanna go try that?" Oslo raised his hands defensively before saying

"I think I'll wait till tomorrow, but thanks for the offer." She rolled her eyes and looked at the ground. Margot jumped in her seat as if she had forgotten something.

"Oh! Here, this is for you!" She handed Nova a small loaf of bread. We both shared the same shocked expression, Oslo just had a look of mock disappointment.

"Is that all you got? You're losing you're touch Margot." She looked annoyed at her twin before holding the same expression as when she remembered she had the bread.

"Oh and this!" She handed a wedge of cheese over to Nova hiding in her other pocket. Nova moved them under the table,

"Did you steal from the pantry?" Nova hissed. Margot went on the defensive,

"I just borrowed it!" I raised an eyebrow at Oslo,

"is this what you meant by talent?"

"How can you borrow food?" Oslo nodded and spoke to me,

"No matter where she is she can always find a little extra. She makes light work of borrowing things too." Margot shouted,

"Do you want it or not?" Nova went silent and began eating the bread and cheese at breakneck speed. Oslo laughed as Margot snorted. She turned to me and said, mouth full of bread and cheese,

"Don't you say a word." I kept my mouth shut.

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 **And so the group is formed! Please leave a review and message me if you want!**


	3. The Report

Chapter 3

No one's POV.

"Really Erwin? It's only been a week since the new cadets have begun. You want an evaluation on her already?" Ichiko looked at the new commander, who in turn was staring outside the window.

Ichiko's office had a perfect view of the cadets training. From it, you could see the entire cadet grounds. Erwin was watching them; they were practising their ODM gear. Even though it was only the second time the cadets had experienced them, it was obvious that some stood out.

"How many did you say dropped out?" Erwin was aware that there were always ditchers. Those that feared for their own lives would have left almost straight away, and even then, those who did work through their fear still had to face the first true test through the ODM. If you had the bravery and skill, you were safe, if not, the fields were where you'd end up. Ichiko spoke,

"out of the three hundred and fifteen cadets that joined, two hundred fifty are remaining. Twenty five left on the day on their first day, and the other forty were asked to leave after seeing them on ODM. Erwin sighed and Ichiko responded, "I know, it's a horrifying number." Erwin answered,

"Yes, and to think it is only going to grow smaller as the years go on." There was a pause that seemed to go on forever. Ichiko shattered it by screeching his chair against the floor as he got up. He walked over to a shelf and grabbed the first folder on the top of many,

"Here you are." He chucked it on to his desk, Erwin turned around now to look at the words on it. _'Harva Akiyama'_ In bold red ink was stamped on it _'classified'_. Erwin smirked at the Chief,

"You've already done it?" The gentlemen swapped places, Ichiko went over to the window while Erwin perched on the desk, picking up the folder.

"Of course. Nile wanted to view it yesterday." Erwin's eyes flashed,

"Nile Dok?" Ichiko nodded,

"You know he doesn't like your plan. He's looking for any reason to pull her off the cadet regime. Hence his sudden appearance" Erwin shut his eyes,

"I know. He thinks she is a liability. I will admit, it's a gamble with her, but she is taking one as well, possibly even bigger than I am." He looked down at her file,

The picture taken of her looked as if it were taken the day he met her, her hair was to her shoulder blades and had a choppy fringe that fell into her eyes. It looked unkempt and untamed. The way she had her hair made her appear wild. There was an intense expression on her face that made her look several years older than she really was, but her eyes held a dead look, one that appeared as if it had seen the weight of the world and she was enduring it. She was filthy and caked in grime. It was a raw picture to look at, he flicked his eyes down to her stats.

 _'_ _Name: Akiyama, Harva_

 _Date of birth: 31/10/32 ( Aged 14)_

 _Height: 157cm_

 _Weight: 114lbs_

 _Hometown: Unknown_

 _Previous Residence: Underground City_

 _Hair: Blonde_

 _Eyes: Green_

 _1_ _st_ _Week Analysation:_

 _Naturally, ODM gear was foreign to Harva, her curious nature made her more willing to try and grasp the complexity of it. The first lesson was the theory side of the gear. She sat in the back quietly and took notes. When the she did the theory test she gained an above average score, as did half of the group. She also appears to have same disciplines for her other theory lessons._

 _During the second lesson, it was obvious where her natural talent was. The second lesson was the second test to see how she would fare against a physical challenge. As soon as she was raised on the ODM apparatus, it was apparent her stature greatly helped with her keeping balance. She was completely steady for the three minutes she was up there._

 _Though physically weaker than the majority of her classmates, her true strength lies in her core and legs. This helps her ODM performance greatly and gives her a slight edge in that area. She is however, noticeably the weakest in her class in other practical areas. Yet she does not let that deter her._

 _Her true physical talent lies within agility and superior reflexes. She became the quickest person to run the agility course ever. Beating the person who was first by fifteen seconds. Her stature and ability to channel energy are key roles to this agility, however credit is also due under her uncanny and sharp instincts. Her unusually fine instincts along with an always analytical and rational thought process make her see and think in a way no one has ever seen, including me._

 _Though she did come 9_ _th_ _in the endurance run, it's obvious she much prefers speed. This links to her hand to hand combat. An unusual style that has not been seen and that breaks every rule of what we teach. Her style must be from the underground city, and appears to focus on using the opponent's strength against them, very effective for her weaker physicality._

 _Overall Harva Akiyama appears to excel in the majority of all areas. She appears to be in a secure group of friends, appears to be the leader of them, possible chance of leadership roles if with the correct people.'_

Without looking up, Erwin spoke,

"I'd like to see her in action." Neither looked at one another,

"Thought you'd say that. They're just on ODM today." Erwin smiled,

"That will be perfect." He already knew a lot of what was on the paper. He knew she was fast, calculating and a fierce fighter. They were some of the main components as to why he requested her. His only concern was for the ODM gear, and if she was as naturally gifted with that then the file said, then he'd not have anything to worry about.

For now at least.

~O~

"Commander Smith! What a pleasant surprise." The soldier saluted. The cadets around him followed suit, all looking too happy and innocent in Erwin's opinion. Though he hid that with a smile,

"at ease soldier. Thank you for the heartfelt salute." He returned the salute with his own which seemed to make the soldier beam with genuine appreciation. Ichiko interrupted,

"why don't you get your business here done with Smith." Erwin smiled at Ichiko and politely apologised,

"Yes. Sorry sir." He turned back to the leader of the exercise and continued, "I'm actually looking for a specific cadet. Her name is Harva Akiyama. Where can I find her?" All of them looked a little excited, as if the name held a resonance of belief and excitement.

"Ah. Akiyama is with the advanced group. Down there." He pointed down the line of ODM apparatus to the furthest one. He saw three people around it and familiar face strapped in. Erwin put his hand on the soldier's shoulder and said,

"thank you, I can get myself there." He walked towards her without a second glance at the soldier.

~O~

 **Harva POV**

"Quit being a baby and just do it!" Nova was getting impatient, as was I with her. She huffed and walked behind me, seemingly giving up. She leant on one of the poles and sighed again. Each time she did it grated on my nerves. I looked back towards the twins. I closed my eyes and breathed a loud sigh.

"I'm not gonna do a somersault on this. Unlike you Nova, I don't want to be kicked out of the Squad." Oslo snickered,

"Yeah, you're on thin ice as it is with Ichiko." Margot shouted,

"Ichiko is coming down the line with a man with big eyebrows!" my head snapped over there, I couldn't see the men she was talking about. Redistributing my weight I leaned forward, seeing who she going on about.

"Nice move Harva." Oslo commented,

"Shit! That's Commander Erwin Smith of the Survey Coprs!" The twins had an expression of realisation which melted away into worry in an instant.

"You don't say." Nova had moved from the pole to right next to my ear. I looked at her and immediately saw a familiar expression she wore all too often. I narrowed my eyes,

"Don't. You. Dare." But she was already doing it. She had grabbed one of the buckles on the belt and was going to unclasp it. "NOVA!" I reflexively tried to swat her hand away but she moved it and brought it back. She was chuckling. The clasp was about to come off and I would end up with a bandaged head, and wounded pride all in front of a commanding officer and my chief.

The next part happened very slowly. I knew what to expect, so I let it happen. Let my body and mind work together. Switch off everything inside me that didn't help me survive. My instincts told me to kick, so I kicked. I kicked Nova straight in the chest, her eyes were worried. Then, her body slammed into the pole behind her, a loud grunt came from her as the wind was knocked out of her. I looked down to see the belt was still clasped, but I felt the shift in my centre of gravity _. 'Shit. I used too much force. How do I stabilise myself on this with so much force?_ ' But my body seemed to automatically know what it was doing. I tucked in my legs and watched the world spin around me once, and then again before I extended my legs out and sat mid-air, my legs counter-balancing me perfectly.

In front of me were the twins who both mirrored a face of shock. Their mouths were open from the somersault. I looked behind be to see Nova smirking,

"You happy now?" I asked monotone,

"Satisfied." She looked more than satisfied, she looked elated. I followed her line of view and my stomach dropped a little. Ichiko and Smith were towering over the twins. Their faces were expressionless. I was waiting for Ichiko to shout when Smith spoke up,

"You cut your hair."

He only saw me a week ago, but compared to now I probably looked like a new person. I was not filthy, and my hair was no longer scraggly or knotted. I had chopped it into a shoulder length bob. Even I was surprised by the change in myself, my hair was brighter and more golden then before, once I had got rid of my old and ridiculously oversized clothes, and once I had washed away the months of grime I could actually see myself in the mirror. My scars were all there, crisscrossing over my body and I had forgotten how muscular I really was. I barely recognised myself.

"Yes, new life, new style." I stood as upright as one could in gear and saluted both of them. Ichiko gave Nova a death glare and ordered,

"Get her down. She'll be coming with us." Nova lazily saluted him,

"Yes sir."

~O~

"So, how are things?" Erwin asked. We had walked to the food hall in an uncomfortable silence. Ichiko had left us long before, I must admit that being alone with the commander was quite an unsettling feeling. Especially when he was trying to act so casual and friendly. I didn't like it.

"Um..sir?" He sat down on one of the empty tables,

"Come, sit." Though there was a friendly and calm demeanour about him, there was still a sense of authority to his gesture. I was still by the door but I walked over to him, sitting opposite him. I caught his gaze and I asked,

"What are we doing here?" My eyes steeled over, to which his did as well.

"What do you think?" So, is this some kind of test. He wants to see how much I can read into a situation. Ok, fine by me I'll tell him what I think.

"Well. You aren't here to check up on me because you missed me. I'm presuming you are going to ask me how I've been adapting to my new life, if I've enjoyed it. Then, relay whatever information you get from me to that MP." His eyes widened briefly,

"Intresting." I leaned back in my chair, pleased with his reaction, but I clarified,

"So, you're doing this for some closure?" He entangled his fingers with one another while speaking,

"I guess you could say that. The MP will look for any reason to take you off the course and into their custody. I'm here to make sure you haven't given them one." I looked down and snorted,

"Maybe I should join the MP at the end of this to really piss them off." Erwin's eyes narrowed.

"That was not our deal." I waved it off,

"I know, I was just thinking. I wouldn't like it there, wouldn't fit in." I looked at the table and stared into it, losing myself in my thoughts, "In fact, I'd hate it. I hate them."

"Our deal is that you join the Survey Corps, and all charges of your crimes against the city will be dropped." I looked back at Smith,

"Hmph. Just because I agreed, doesn't mean I like it or you for that matter." He smiled,

"I know, but you might come to change your mind eventually." My eyes narrowed, I could tell there was something else, and he wasn't telling me something, but it was about me. What it could be?

"You keep a lot of secrets Erwin Smith. What do you have to hide?" He kept his mask of calm on him.

"Nothing you have to worry about right now."Right now? So it's something he's planning for the future? If it's something to do with me then...

"You're going to hire more criminals aren't you?" I blurted. His eyebrows rose and fell in the blink of an eye.

"You really are gifted at reading between the lines." He sighed and continued, "The Survey Corps is a dying breed. It is losing what little respect it had and is now being seen as the suicide corps." I raised an eyebrow,

"So bringing a brigade of criminals into the front line is supposed to boost your popularity?"

"More or less, but I wouldn't phrase it like that."

"Course you wouldn't." His eyes flashed,

"We need capable soldiers out there. We need people who have the natural instinct to kill, the ones who have walked through the fire and lived. Those with the instincts that were only nurtured through living on the streets. If I can get those kinds of people, they we will be humanities new hope." I thought about it and it did seem to make some sense in the madness.

"Sir, you are aware that a lot of them don't think the same way you do."

"I appreciate the title, but you can call me Erwin when we aren't in public." I cocked my head,

"Why so?" He shrugged his shoulders,

"Because there needs to be a level of trust in each other. I need you trust me as a human, not a Commander."

"You didn't answer my question, Erwin." He smiled,

"No I didn't. And I know that, I'm only selecting those who I have a good feeling about. You are my guinea pig, so for both our sakes, I'd appreciate if you didn't muck this up." I didn't like the idea of being a test subject, but I didn't want to go prison. I looked at him. Erwin has to be a trust worthy person, it's something a Commander should pride himself in and deliver. I took a deep breath in, shaking slightly at my decision,

"Ok Erwin. I'm making the decision to trust you. I haven't trusted anyone for a long time, so this is the biggest thing I can do. But, is there anything you need me to do here?" He looked relieved, he paused for a moment before speaking,

"Come first in this Squad. Be the best, show the Military Police you are more than an able soldier." I smiled at him,

"Is that it?" He looked shocked for a moment and chuckled, it was a tentative one, more out of relief than humour. But I guess in his line of work any chance to laugh or smile should be taken. I couldn't join in. Joy wasn't something I had the luxury to keep while Underground.

* * *

 **So Harva is Erwin's experiment. I did a lot of working out with the dates and who was around in those years. Erwin is currently the unofficial commander, and Shadis is still commander but has had his breakdown and is apprenticing Erwin. This is before Levi comes into the picture, but Erwin has already begun snooping around for Levi. It is rather complicated, but if you want me to post it up how I worked it out etc then I will be happy to.**

 **Hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading!**


	4. Friendships and Enemies

Chapter 4

"Ok why don't we start with your friends, Harva?" Erwin questioned. I looked at him, confused,

"Why do you want to know about them?" He looked serious,

"It's more down to how you interact with them. But, if you can tell me anything, it would help me understand you clearer." I raised an eyebrow but did not question his method.

"Well, there are the twins."

"Oslo and Margot Gotham, yes?" I nodded,

"They aren't the kind of people I would be chummy with. I'm not really blessed with social graces." I thought about them, Oslo's heart-warming grin and Margot's gentle soul. It made me smile

"But?" He nudged me on,

"But they don't judge you on who you were. More for who you are now."

"Did you tell them about your past?" He leaned in and looked a little worried,

"No." I shook my head. "I doubt I'll ever tell them." I looked up to him,

"They have just accepted me. It's nice." He nodded then his eyes soured,

"And the one who tried to humiliate you?"

"Nova? She and I are a little competitive."

"From what I hear she is rather destructive." The light heartedness of his voice had gone and he seemed to be making it sound more disappointing.

"If you're referring to Finnian Claymore's broken nose he had it coming."

"If she is going to be that reckless I will refuse her in the Survey Corps." My mouth dropped open. Is he that serious? That's not fair. I had to defend her. My lips pursed but if it's that serious, and he thinks she is that extreme; then I'll have to take it to extremes too.

"Ok. If I told you that she is more than that what would you say?" His eyes narrowed,

"I'd say where is the proof?"

"You didn't have any proof with me when I was recruited!" I snapped,

"You had only two choices." He retorted and felt my anger spike. I swallowed it back and regained my thoughts slowly. I chose my words very carefully,

"Nova is a very talented cadet; she really is gifted with everything. She comes across as uncaring and steely but deep down she care. And I do have proof. I witnessed her love and affection first hand." After a long pause he motioned his hand, telling me to begin the story. I sighed briefly before beginning,

"Ok, so it starts with me waking up from another night terror –"

"You get night terrors? How often?"

"Almost every night, but that's not important." I waved it off and got back to the story

 _'_ _Jesus. Why do I sweat so much? They must be scary dreams for me to drench my clothes. I probably made a lot of noises. Ah, I didn't wake Nova up did I?_

 _"_ _Nova?" I whispered. She didn't respond. Good, she is still asleep. I removed the blanket and got out of bed. I was naturally a quiet person, but having years of practise in the art of stealth didn't hinder me. I went to my chest and got into new pair of clothes. I sighed, thinking I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep, as usual. I looked out the window to see it was pitch black. There were a few hours before daybreak. I sighed and decided to go to the recreation room, getting on all my gear would be very loud and would probably wake Nova._

 _I crept out of the room with ease and shut the door quietly behind me. I was about to turn towards the recreation room but I saw a faint light in the end of the corridor. My curiosity immediately spiked, it could only be a cadet as captains have their own quarters in another building. I wondered who it was. I cautiously went towards the food hall; I hugged a wall as I got closer. I crouched low and tiptoed to the door, it was already open slightly so I peaked in and saw a candle on a table in the corner. No one was in there, I could feel it. So I opened the door and crept in, going towards the candle. It was where we ate: Nova, Oslo, Margot and I. Standing upright I saw a locket by the candle. I picked it up, it was real silver, must have cost a fortune. I held it with one hand and pried it open to see a middle-aged man, wearing the Survey Corps uniform, then one of an entire family. It consisted of a mother, the man, a son and a daughter. I squinted my eyes closer together, the daughter looked faintly familiar, did I know her? Wait a second, is that who I think it is?_

 _Just then I sensed the presence of someone else. I spun, preparing to fight, I crouched low, my palms open. The locket that was wrapped around my hand was all but forgotten. I was not prepared however for who was standing there, looking more than shocked._

 _"_ _Nova?" I whispered. She was holding in her hand a wooden spoon and looked as if she was ready to throw it at me. She straightened up immediately and loudly whispered,_

 _"_ _Give it back!" I straightened as well, a bit startled by the urgency in her voice. I threw it back and she caught it, dropping the spoon on a near by table she put the locket on, and tucked it under her shirt._

 _"_ _What are you doing here?" I was at a loss, and wanted answers now. She walked away from and into the cooking area, where I presumed she was before. "Hey!"_

 _"_ _We can talk normally in here, idiot." She went through the door. I stood upright and followed her in. I closed the door and whirled around, questions at the ready._

 _What I saw was Nova standing over several bowls and other bits of equipment. Her face was covered by her hair, her shoulders were shaking badly._

 _"_ _Are you ok?" I asked. It was a stupid question but I thought I'd start somewhere._

 _"_ _You really are shit at dealing people like this, aren't you?" It didn't hurt, it was true. I am awful at sentimental stuff, all that emotional support? Yeah, not my forte. But this was Nova, and so I would at least have to try._

 _"_ _You're right, I suck." I walked over to her and gave her a hug. Which she accepted and began sobbing louder. "Oslo would be better for this stuff." She mumbled in agreement. I had to get up on my tip-toes to really give her a decent hug._

 _We stayed like that for a little while, her face was buried into my shoulder and I tried to rub her back in a motion that would soothe her. After the loud sobbing stopped, we stayed like that for a few more minutes before she drew back. She swept her hair out of her face and wiped her nose on her sleeve._

 _"_ _For someone as diddy and useless at emotional crap, you give good hugs." I smiled weakly as thanks. Her eyes were puffy and looked sore. She backed away, leaning on a counter. I moved away from the close proximity of her and slouched on the side of them._

 _"_ _So, do you want to tell me what this is all about?" I waved my hand around the kitchen._

 _She looked down at the floor for a little while before answering._

 _"_ _My father. It's would be his birthday today. He died when I was seven."_

 _"_ _How did he die?" She looked up and spoke softly,_

 _"_ _He was a scout. A good one, he was a veteran. I would always bake him a cake for his birthday and when he got home we would sit there and eat the entire thing. So full we wouldn't be able to move afterwards." She began to quieten down,_

 _"_ _How old is your brother?" I urged her on. From what I saw in the locket that was who I presumed he was. They all shared a similar look in their face._

 _"_ _Caden is a year younger than me. He will be joining the cadets next year I bet."_

 _"_ _You both want to be scouts?" She nodded and blushed lightly,_

 _"_ _Yeah, and a few other people I know as well."_

 _"_ _Is there anything I can do to help?" I blurted it out before I knew what I was saying. "With the cake I mean?" I pointed over to the bowl and all the other cooking utensils. She looked a little shocked._

 _"_ _But why would you want to help me?" I strode over and took both of her hands in mine. I looked up at her, with as much emotion as my eyes would let me cram into them without crying,_

 _"_ _Because, I know what it's like to lose a dad. There are a lot of us, with dead parents. It's a bit of a club really. And you can't be in it until you're in it. Until you feel that loss, that ache. They can try to understand, and they can try to sympathize. My parents died when I was eight. So when I say I know how you feel, please don't think I'm lying." Her eyes became giant puddles before spilling over her cheeks and she nodded at me._

 _"_ _Thank you Harva." I kept gaze strong as I spoke._

 _"_ _You keep those memories of him alive. It's better than me; I can barely remember what my folks look like. So I'm gonna help you bake this cake and we are going to eat it all tonight. You hear me?" She nodded again but this time with more vigour and happiness.'_

"And we baked that cake and ate it." I stated to Erwin. He didn't seem that impressed by the story,

"You two baked a cake in the middle of the night and ate it all by yourself?" He questioned,

"Yep." I lied smoothly. It was bad enough we were making our own food during lights out, but I thought it would be bad of me to bring the twins into all of this. Nova and I caught Margot in the pantry stealing food again, so we didn't have much of a choice in letting her in on what was going on. Of course, because she was in on something she had to go and wake up Oslo to join in too otherwise _'she wouldn't hear the end of it.'_ So there we were all four of us. In a prohibited area, stealing food, during lights out, baking a cake, and eating it all before the crack of dawn. We all sat there with a giant fruit cake, about half way through all of us were at our limit, but had to keep pushing on if we didn't want to get caught.

"And what did you wish for me to realise from that story?" Erwin snapped me out of the fond memory of us all in there. I straightened up and cleared my throat,

"that the scouts are more than just a target or a goal to Nova. It's her family, It's her way of letting her father's memories live on."

I thought back to the scene in the kitchen. Margot had just come in from the pantry with jars of preserved fruits in sugary syrup, Oslo measuring all the ingredients and Nova mixing the mix. I was washing up at the time so had a perfect view of them. It seemed so jolly, and so like a family. "And to make you realise she isn't all she seems. As with most people." He looked down at his hands.

"If you are able to convince Nova to listen to you, I might find an interest in her abilities." I grimaced at the thought of telling Nova that, but it is a better result then what could have been said.

And that has to count for something.

~O~

"And how has training been for you? You seem to have a natural ability with the ODM gear." I ignored the compliment,

"The twins helped me a lot on that front." I thought about Margot. The girl had a natural gift with the ODM gear that none of us could compare to. She was fluent and quick to judge; she understood the practices and excelled in that area more than anyone.

"And Nova?" He tried to make his voice sound less stiff, but I could tell. I smirked at his attempt of being friendlier,

"She is the only person to keep up with me in hand to hand." I laughed at the fond memory and added, "Although Sarchosa seemed to think otherwise." Erwin raised an eyebrow,

"Sarchosa?" I nodded,

"He's all brain and no brawn. Not joking, he's probably two hundred pounds and about your height. Thought he could take Nova, but because she was on the last straw with Ichko I took care of him."

"This wasn't in your report. I'd like to hear the story if that's alright."

 _'_ _Nova's fists were raised; she was on the balls of her feet and seemed to have a slight bounce in her. So, this is what happens when you are raised on the streets above ground. Or so she told me, her fighting stems from years of fighting the bullies. That was the only difference between her fighting and mine. She dealt with bullies, I dealt with men. Men who liked to kill, to steal and do much worse. Do or die down there._

 _I took a power stance; I squatted low down and balanced on the tip of my toes. My core was strong and sturdy, but my feet were ready to leap out of the way. My palms came out in front of me, open and ready for the confusion of Nova. I then heard her start laughing,_

 _"_ _Get up Harva! You look ridiculous!" I kept my gaze and torso on her as my back leg swept under my own body and collided with her ankle. She looked down at her ankle which I'd bet good money was throbbing now and cursed aloud. "Ow! Bitch!" She had reflexively bent down to touch her ankle. Bad choice. I slunk closer to her and brought an elbow to meet her nose. My gut feeling kicked in, she wanted this to happen. I looked to my right and saw her fist coming towards my face. Uh oh. My reflexes kicked in and my left arm came underneath the right elbow. My elbow was no longer going to connect with Nova's face. The outcome of this small sequence was this:_

 _-I will block her right jab with my left hand._

 _-I will have to spin around to counter her punch._

 _-This will leave my left side vulnerable._

 _-I will have to counter with a dirty trick to get out of this._

 _I stood up. Meeting her right jab with my left hand. The smack of force between her punch and my block was bigger than I anticipated. She was strong. This did not deter me, nor her. I saw her looking at my ribs, fully exposed and perfect for a good pummelling. She began, clenching her fist. I smiled. I had decided how I was going to play dirty. My body pivoted, head almost brushing the ground. With that, my left leg came swinging effortlessly up, avoiding her next attack. The hand holding her wrist twisted her arm in an uncomfortable position. She was about to curse out in pain but my boot connected with her cheek. With a harsh jerk of her wrist, her balance was thrown and she fell to the floor._

 _"_ _One nil to me." I stood up straight and looked at my work. Before I could say anything to Nova I heard a whistle,_

 _"_ _I'm impressed Harva, didn't think Nova would get embarrassed by anything!" Looking away from her I noticed it was Oslo. He smirked and nodded back down to Nova. I followed his line of eye to see a pink faced Nova. She was blushing. Nova, blushing!_

 _"_ _Neither did I." I responded coolly. I offered my hand to help her up but she swiped it away._

 _"_ _That was dirty!" She pouted. I raised an eyebrow and crossed my arms._

 _"Gotta play dirty to live_ _." She scoffed and said,_

 _"_ _Fine. I won't hold back this time." She assumed her stance, as did I._

 _"_ _I hope not. It will be interesting that way." Anger flashed in her eyes. And we danced._

 _~O~_

 _"_ _Oh give up already!" Nova bellowed. She had me pinned. My stomach and face lay in a mud pool. We continued to fight to the point where it was now deadlock. We had been so immersed in trying to beat one another that we hadn't noticed that Oslo had wandered off. She had finally worked out that my legs were my strength, if she had them pinned then I was weak. It was true, my upper body strength was pretty awful. She had them both now pinned against her own and it hurt. She pushed my cheek into the mud._

 _"_ _Never!" I shouted back at her. I slipped my leg out of her pin. It's times like this where being a little scrawny does count for something. With that I bent my freed leg, and kicked. Resembling something of a scorpion, jabbing its stinger into its prey. I managed to get her neck and while she was still recognising what had happened I flipped her over. I smirked as she struggled underneath my grip on her. I recollected a neutral expression as I casually put my hand into the mud. Before scooping a big handful and lifting it._

 _"_ _HARVA IF YOU DARE I WILL KILL YOU!" I smirked,_

 _"_ _Consider this fair treatment. You didn't need to push my head into the mud." The mud dripped menacingly. Nova kicked the ground as if she was a toddler throwing a tantrum,_

 _"_ _Don't be a bitch!" She screeched. Just as I was about to drop it on her face a voice appeared,_

 _"_ _Why don't you two just make out?" I looked up and found the owner of the voice._

 _"_ _Fin why don't you keep your mouth shut?" Nova snapped. She smirked, "Or would you rather a repeat of your unfortunate nose being bashed in?" His eyes narrowed. He still had a purple line running through the middle of his face._

 _"_ _And how are you going to do that from down there? Seems like you're getting your ass whooped." He retorted. I stood up in fear of Nova hurtling me to the ground. She was up as well, grinding her teeth. I spoke instead,_

 _"_ _If you're gonna bother taunting her, use someone a bit more intimidating. She's beat you to a pulp. Why not bring someone new to the table?" It was his turn to grit his teeth._

 _"_ _Sarchosa. Get over here. Harva wants you to beat her up." Sarchosa began to walk up to us._

 _"_ _Hey! I'm taking him on! Not Harva!" I grabbed her sleeve and pulled her in to whisper into her ear._

 _"_ _If you get caught in another fight you could be expelled. Let me handle this." She leaned away from me, the words I spoke were true, and she knew that. But she protested none the less,_

 _"_ _Yeah but you could get in trouble too." I kept my gaze on her,_

 _"_ _Not as much as you could though. At least I have this training as an excuse. If you hurt him it would look like bad coincidence." She pursed her lips and looked down. "I know you want to fight. You're a natural, but I will whip his ass for you." She looked up and I saw a look that I had only seen her do for me, it was the same as when I told her I would help her bake that cake for her father. The same way when I told her about my parents. Trust. She trusted me to do this for her. She nodded and said,_

 _"_ _You better. Or I'll kick yours for not kicking it hard enough."_

 _"_ _I'll take your word for it." I retorted before walking towards him. He was standing away from Fin and the rest of his group. I couldn't help but feel intimidated by his sheer size, it was frightening._

 _Even though Nova was bigger than I was, it was easy to knock her over because she was about footwork and jabs. Just one look at my target I knew that he would not have that luxury. He was so heavily built for someone his age that it wouldn't surprise me if he knew how frightening he was. He is a thug. And I could guess how he fought, and I could guess how I should react. Turn his strength against him Harva, do what you do best._

 _A fist came hurtling towards my face. It was easy to dodge, slipping to his side I saw how vulnerable he was, smiling, I couldn't stop thinking how easy this will be. His own force from the punch was causing him to run forward. I lifted a leg and kicked his ribs with all my might. To my surprise, all I got was a little grunt from him as my boot connected with ribs. Instead of him staggering back from the power, it was me who was being pushed back. I took a few steps away from him cautiously as he rose._

 _"_ _That all you got Harva?" I didn't utter a word. He was baiting me, but I'm not getting caught Sarchosa. I fell back into my stance and waited. I didn't have to wait long for him to come back at me, he was like a charging bull coming straight for me. Part of me wanted to hold my ground. I did. He got closer and closer before I broke away and spun right around him. I kicked him again but this time right in his ass. The joint momentum caused him to stumble and fall forward. I turned to see the twins smirking; I shifted my gaze to Nova and nodded at her. I kept my promise of kicking his ass for her, literally._

 _"_ _Stop playing around will you?" She chided. I wanted to beat him up so bad. She had no idea, but I knew that if I got close to him now, he would have the upper hand. I needed to wear him out, which would be no easy task. Especially if we were exchanging blows this slowly._

 _"_ _Come on Sarchosa, I expected something a little more challenging than this." I teased. He snorted and got up._

 _"_ _Funny. I was going to say the same thing as you." Our dance began. He was now controlling his blows, well a little bit. They were coming at me faster, with more purpose and less power. Good. I backed away and dodged him as well as I could without touching him. I looked around to see we had gathered quite a crowd. I'll have to end this soon, I don't want Ichiko to find out about this. I watched him carefully as we continued; he seemed to just only think on the offensive. He let his sides and weak spots open. He may be powerful, but I have speed on my hand. I moved away from one of his many onslaughts and began my own, starting with his ribs again. I ducked right underneath his punch and connected my fist to his ribs, then jabbed them several times over. His reaction was for him to swing his arm round lazily to swat me off him. I complied and ducked, punching the just above the elbow of the swinging arm. Before he could even react to that I was already weaving around his giant legs to the back of him. I elbowed both of his hamstrings with more force. He buckled underneath his own weight, kneeling on the floor._

 _I heard the cheers from the cadets for bringing the brute down. But if there is anything I had learnt during my time on the streets it's that people are the most dangerous when they're losing. Boy, was I right. I had begun slinking around to begin the true attack on him. At the last minute he had brought his arm around with a clenched fist at the end. Shoot, I don't have enough time to dodge or block it. I prepared myself for impact. As soon as his hand made contact with my stomach I knew it. I immediately felt like I was suffocating along with wanting to throw up. His blow sent me flying towards the floor.I closed my eyes and concentrated. Fight the urge. Fight it. Fight it! My head was about to hit the floor hard. My eyes flew open and I neatly back rolled, taking the momentum in its stride, helping me to stand up. I winced but none the less fought the urge to collapse, my legs were shaking from a mixture of shock and adrenaline. This feeling was all too familiar to me. I had grown numb to it in some ways, and I embraced that. Sarchosa was trying to get up._

 _"_ _Oh no you don't!" I wheezed before grabbing his hair, securing his head and colliding my knee into his cheek. That hurt him, I could feel it. His body posture changed completely before shaking in shock. I removed my knee and looked at my handy work. It was already bruising. That wasn't enough to drive the lesson home. My elbow then came and connected to the exact same spot. Only I heard the sweet tearing of his skin over his cheek. But everyone heard his yowl of pain. Releasing him I turned away and walked back to my friends. I tried to be as careful as I could be, I still wanted to throw up and it was taking a lot of concentration. Oslo and Margot put up their thumbs in a very cheesy manner with big cheesy grins to match. Nova had a snug grin on her face, but she was obviously looking at the damage I had done.'_

"I reckon he will get a nice scar from our encounter." I tried to speak in a monotone manner to Erwin. I looked at him and burst out laughing, his shoulders were shaking uncontrollably.


	5. The Brutal Beam

Chapter five

I checked the clock again before looking down at the book in my lap. Six o'clock in the morning. I suppose I should go and get dressed. I looked around the recreation room and sighed. It was the only time I really enjoyed being in here, It was so quiet it was almost creepy, but it was the only place I could read in silence, Nova would complain if I read in the room at night. The book I was reading was a diary log on titan activity, brought to you by none other than the scouting regiment. I stood up from one of the very few comfy chairs that there were in the recreation room, most had busted springs and stains that most likely came from an undesirable and unthinkable place. I walked over to the less than impressive bookshelf that held only a dozen or so books. And most were text books that were outdated and had pieces of paper torn out. I had plenty of books in my chest in my room; they were one of the few things I was allowed to keep when coming into the cadets. Thinking about that day made me pout. Erwin had confiscated my knives as it was a 'violation' of something. I missed my knives, but he promised me I would get them back when I had filled my end of the bargain.

It felt like an eternity when I had that conversation with Erwin. When he came to talk, when in actuality it was Monday; only three days ago, but it has been fresh in my mind. A lot happened this week. This week it has just been getting the ropes of all the drills and exercises today would be something new, or at least I hope it was.

I looked around the recreation room, making sure I left no trace of my being there. You weren't exactly supposed to leave your room after lights out. I saw the five sunken, stained armchairs, all huddled by the fireplace, where last night's embers still glowed. There were several tables and chairs, similar to the ones in the mess hall, the central one held several chess boards piled upon each other and the boxes to go with it. I'm ashamed to say I don't know how to play chess, but it seemed like an interesting game, especially if Oslo plays. But the thing that made my heart skip a beat was in the back, was an old and rather clunky looking piano, with missing ivories. No one ever touched it during our free time, I wanted to play it, sometimes I'd walk over and casually let my fingers glide over the ivories. Playing piano was one of the very few fond memories I had of being in the Underground City.

Snapping out of it I began to walk back to my room. Creeping out of the building and running as quick as I could to the sleeping quarters. Thankfully, no one was awake yet, so it was it an easy sneak. When I got back into the room I internally groaned. It was a mess. Nova decided to leave a lot of her clothes rumpled on the floor and had left her bed a mess. I felt my eyebrow twitch uncontrollably as I walked over to her clothes. She probably woke up an hour ago to get a run in, but she obviously did this to piss me off. We had morning check-ups to make sure we weren't sleeping in our own shit. I sighed and got to work, folding her clean clothes and putting them back in her draw. Then made her bed and my own. I got dressed, deciding to wear a thin, black long sleeve shirt. It hugged my body a bit too much but it was the most supportive thing I had, it was thin enough that I wouldn't get hot from the training. By the time I had slipped on my harnesses the first bell went off. I shrugged my jacket on before leaving the room to go to the mess hall.

When I got in, the mess hall was empty as expected. I doubt anyone will be getting in for another ten minutes at the earliest. I grabbed the bread and cheese, putting my plate on 'our' table before running up and grabbing a coffee. I sat back down and dug into the food. I only had to wait a few minutes before Margot came through the door with a few other girls. She went and grabbed some food before joining me with a big grin.

"Morning Harva. How did we sleep?" I spoke in my signature melancholy voice,

"Shit as ever." She grabbed my coffee, shoving it into my face.

"Drink up. I only have enough energy for one of you." Pushing the coffee down I looked at Margot,

"Tell that to her. She is the reason for my mood." She pouted and decided to leave me alone then. Stuffing her face with bread. I sipped the coffee and kept my face low, picking the last bit of bread on my plate apart.

"Uh oh. What's up with Harva?" Oslo questioned. He was taking a seat next to me but was looking at his twin. Margot was putting her hair up as she answered him,

"Apparently: Nova, a bad night's sleep and a lack of caffeine."

"What's new then?" I grated. Oslo looked serious,

"Night terrors again?" I nodded,

"It's nothing new, so don't worry yourself over it." Waving him off dismissively I slurped more of my coffee down. Five minutes later Nova appeared,

"Well don't you all look merry?" She snidely commented.

"Don't prod the fire Nova…" Oslo whined.

"You kept me up with all night with your tossing and turning. What time did you leave the room?" She sat down heavily, her rant mode was on.

"About three." I quietly answered. I remember nodding off at midnight, but straight from the get go I had a nightmare. She lifted her hands and let them drop in an exasperated style.

"There we fucking go. You were tossing and turning hours before that too you know! I have a very strict sleeping pattern that has gone to crap!"

"Then maybe you should be more flexible." I bit back. Her eyes flashed with an annoyance. I sighed, and then spoke slowly and earnestly,

"I'm sorry. I think you can trust me when I say that I hate it as much as you." Her posture softened, as did her eyes.

"You know I wouldn't mind as much if you just told me what they were about." I shook my head,

"If I could remember them I'd tell you." I told her. Her lips drooped before Oslo interjected,

"Wait, you don't remember the night terrors?" I shook my head. "Is it possible night terrors aren't just the problem? Could you have any other problems going on?"

"I have no idea." I paused, uncomfortable with the eyes on me. Snatching a piece of bread I shoved it in Oslo's face, "Shut up and eat your breakfast." Margot giggled and Nova cracked a quick smile at me.

"Any idea what we will be for morning training?" Margot chirped. I shrugged my shoulders and she got a similar response from her brother.

"From the looks of it, I'd say fitness circuits." She got a harmonised groan from the twins, and a flash of excitement from me.

~O~

"Alright you big babies let's go!" Akita shouted. Akita was our squad leader; she was an average looking woman except for her fiercely suspicious face. I get the feeling she is unnerved by training me; she looks over me in a way that I know too well. She flicked her dark plait off her shoulders before walking away from the squad. We all followed her to where Nova guessed right, a fitness circuit. Nova punch me in the arm,

"Oh this is gonna be fun! I can tell!" I rubbed my arm before saying,

"No need to tell me. It's them you'll have to persuade." I gestured behind us to where the twins were slugging behind with the rest of the squad. Nova grimaced,

"Jesus. And they think this is hell, wait till third year. They'll be dead." I nodded in agreement. My body was aching from the intense few weeks but it was more of a hum of pain. My years on the street were a big help for this aspect of the training. Akita stopped, putting her hands on her hips she turned to us.

"Now. I know this must be really hard for you guys. It must be so horrible doing all this work." Her voice dripped sarcasm, she snorted. "Well guess what, that's fucking life! You will be doing a core training programme. Proficient ODM users have a strong core and high fortitude. This circuit will test both of these aspects." She paused to look us all over. I bet she saw one hell of an enthusiastic squad.

"I hope we are put into teams." Nova said, I was about to question why we would but Akita shouted,

"This is a competition. You will get into teams. There are seven stations with a value system. Only the best result in your group will get the points in that one time. You can go on each station as many times as you'd like." Lots of groans emanated from behind us, to which Akita shouted. "As incentive, the team that gets the most points by the end of the morning session, every member of that team will receive double shower time and double food rations tonight." Everyone seemed to wake up with excitement at the last part. Nova grabbed my arm in a vice grip and spoke in an excited tone,

"If you and I pair up, we will be unstoppable!" I frowned,

"You have that world domination look in your eye. Stop. We need more members." Nova snorted,

"Even if we did, which by the way we don't, who would want to be with us?" Before I could speak Oslo shouted,

"Ladies. You didn't forget about us did you?" I responded earnestly,

"I didn't" But Nova of course said,

"I did." Margot rolled her eyes but sucked herself onto my other arm.

"With all of us it should be easy!" I growled,

"Get off me now before I rip both your arms off." They both let go of me. I took a few paces away from them. Grumbling I went over to a random station.

"Harva wait up!" Nova shouted behind but I ignored her. "For such a short-ass you walk like you're a titan!" I huffed as I stopped at the closest station.

"Which one is this?" I asked the leader there. Something in my eyes made him look like he wanted to crawl out of his skin.

"Pull-ups. You have to do as many as you can in one minute. Each pull up counts as a point."

"Oh I wanna-" Nova jumped in front of me to go straight to the bar. I grabbed her collar in one hand, and Oslo's in another.

"No you aren't. Oslo's got this." Nova flinched and swatted my hand off her.

"This is a team effort. We all have to do this!" I spoke in a monotone voice.

"No we don't. If only the best score is recorded then we should just let one person do it. No point wasting all our energy at once."

"Nice thinking Harva." Margot chimed in, however Nova was throwing a tantrum.

"But I want the best score!"

"We can always come back at a later on and we can try again." Margot tried to coo at her. The leader spoke then,

"You also still gain points if you leave and comeback." She groaned but stayed quiet. Margot turned from Nova to her brother and clapped,

"Come on Oslo you can do it!"

"You better do well." I warned him. His response was to cheekily grin as he clasped his hands over the bar. The leader held his stopwatch,

"Ready….3….2….1….GO!" Oslo began. He lifted himself up with effortless ease; he was so fast I lost count after fifteen. He was cut off at a minute, and let go of the bar. His face had gone red but seemed to be fine other than that. Nova was up in the leader's face,

"How many did he get?" He backed away at the awkward closeness.

"Uhh thirty eight." She eyed him and snorted,

"that all you can do princess?" Oslo was shaking off his arms when he retorted,

"I'd like to see you beat that, that's less than a pull up every two seconds!" She looked away unimpressed.

"Whatever. Let's just go on something else. I don't fancy losing, least of all to them." She looked over to another group of four, one of them doing push ups. When he stopped and sat up I saw the still swollen wound on Sarchosa's cheek. Stiches appeared to be still in it and it still looked ugly shades of purple and yellow.

"You sure went to town on his face." Margot remarked, Oslo looked unimpressed,

"You're lucky you didn't get into trouble." He nodded at Nova pointedly. Not only did Nova have to run for six hours he also gave her two marks for insubordination. If you get fifteen in the years you were a cadet, you'd get kicked out permanently.

"I actually got marked for unnecessary physical contact." All their heads turned back to face me.

"And you were going to tell us when?" Margot sounded more hurt at the fact I didn't tell her rather than being concerned for me. Oslo, was the opposite,

"Well that's what you get for starting a fight."

"HE STARTED IT!" Nova and I shouted in unison. Nova's eyes narrowed ad said,

"Wait, you just got some marks for the exact same thing that I did?"

"I only got one." I corrected her. Her mouth dropped open and she kicked the ground in a fit of anger,

"Well that's favouritism if I ever saw it." I snorted and began to explain,

"He didn't put the attack on my personal file either. When Erwin came he didn't know about it, and from the sounds of it that commander of the MP didn't know about it either."

"So Ichiko didn't put it on there so you wouldn't get taken off the cadet course." Oslo finished. I nodded,

"FAVOURITSM!" Nova shouted again I sighed. Fatigue was crawling through my body at the uneasy few hours of sleep I got over the last few weeks. It was taking a heavy toll on my mood.

"My penalty for getting into any kind of trouble is much steeper than yours, Nova. If I even put a hair out of place the MP will sweep me away. Either to prison or kill me." She looked a little stumped by my rant. They all did. Oslo came closer towards me,

"I'm not sure if I can speak on behalf of everyone here, but I will anyway. And I've said this before. We don't care where you came from, or what you did for that matter. You're our friend Harva, we got your back." He had a look in his eye. One that was difficult to really find. He was genuine, he was warm. I looked at his sister and Nova, both showing something similar.

Was I supposed to feel comforted by that? Am I supposed feel knots twisting in my stomach? I didn't feel either. But I did feel as if my heart was just that little heavier, maybe a bit warmer too. That was a familiar feeling, and I grasped it tightly, suffocating it. I smiled weakly, pretending that it didn't hurt a little; instead I turned on my heels and walked to an empty station.

"Come on you soppy excuses."

They followed.

~O~

"Oh my god that looks brutal." Nova motioned at the beam. "Let's do it!" Without even asking for anyone else's approval she ran over towards the looming thing. The three of us followed her, and we caught the instructor telling Nova how it worked.

"You have to hold up your weight on the beam, with it under your armpits as well as your legs need to be stretched out front. It canes your sides and is probably the worst one out of the lot."

"That sounds fun." Margot spoke cheerfully,

"That sounds painful." I grumbled. Nova spun around, giving me a death glare.

"That is no way to sound for a challenge!"

"You'd probably be the best for it. You weigh the least out of all of us." I sent daggers to Oslo.

"Get up there." Nova had already walked up towards me and lifted with ease, as if I was a feather. She sat me on top of the beam, as if she were scolding a child, despite my protests she manged easily. I looked at my teammate and huffed,

"Fine. Nova, get your ass up here. I need the company." I saw her eyes glisten as she hoisted herself up onto the beam with me.

"Ready when you are girls." The instructor declared. I nodded at Nova, and in unison, we lowered our bodies down off the beam. Bad idea. Right from the get go it burned.

"Shit!" Nova wheezed.

"Said that right." I choked out. As I looked around, it then only dawned on me that these next few hours would be agonising.

~O~

"Now, that wasn't so bad was it?" Akita mocked disappointment as she got an unresponsive groan from a lot of the cadets. "Oh you'll all break my heart. Especially since I got the results while you were stuffing your faces." I could disagree; all I could get down my stomach was an apple and a crust before wanting to be sick. Oslo thought it was the lack of sleep, I thought it was because I was only used to one meal a day, even then I might only get half of a meal. Re-adjusting back to a normal eating pattern was harsh on my body. Margot thought it was a mixture of both, while Nova thought nothing of it.

"Oh get on with it." Nova muttered under her breath. I saw Oslo elbow her lightly.

"Give a round of applause to squad five!" Squad five? That's us and Nova knew it. Margot leapt up and hugged Oslo who was beaming like an idiot. Nova looked smug and she nudged me,

"Look a bit happier why don't you?" I smiled lightly and said,

"I did it for you stupid, I don't eat much." But I did like the idea of having a six minute shower. I looked around the cadets many were applauding, but there was a group of four that were looking disdainfully at us. Shooting death glares at the group. I puffed up my chest and sent my own back at them.

After we had our theory, all four of us were walking as if we had shit ourselves. While everyone in our group had double rations for dinner I offered my own to my friends. And a little bit of what was left of the first bowl. While they were stuffing their faces I counted the minutes to when I could get in the shower. When that time finally came, and when I was standing there in the hot water, a smile never left my lips. I washed my body twice and felt so fresh and relaxed that I fell asleep as soon as my head touched the pillow.

The first time that had happened in many years. I was thankful that I slept with no dreams. Because it seems my dreams always manifested into nightmares, and I let them.

* * *

 **So sorry there is such a gap between these chapters! Iv'e had a hell of a few days. Iv'e moved house, celebrated my 18th (Yay me) and been helping a family member who has been really unwell. Plus college work is killing me! Gah! Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter, I will probably be doing a few more chapters on the 103rd cadets before jumping to their second year. All the characters we love will start emerging then! (All the 104ths, and more of the Survey Corps)**

 **As always, thank you for reading!**


	6. AN: I'm alive!

**THIS IS NOT AN UPDATE! JUST AN A/N!**

 **I'd like to apologise profusely for not updating. I've gone through a lot in the last few months with a nasty dose of both family and my own personal issues.**

 **I have been writing Not Gonna Die Tonight, albeit it's been painfully slow, I certainly have no interest in abandoning it. I just think from a realistic point of view I wont be able to upload as regularly as I initially promised. So for that, I am so, so sorry.**

 **I already have the outline and plan for Harva's story, and it will just be a case of me writing it (way too excited about it) I reckon we can possibly get two more chapters and then her story will begin to integrate into the series.**

 **As something to keep you slightly interested in the story I have compiled a bunch of silly trivia's and facts for Harva. I hope you like her and I'll hopefully update soon.**

Harva Trivia:

-Suffers from insomnia and night terrors.

\- Sleeps roughly 3-4 hours a night

-Is allergic to dust so is a very avid cleaner.

-Is awful at cooking.

-I made Harva's birthday Halloween to make her seem more mysterious and spooky.

-Harva is an avid reader, it's one of the few comforting things she can do when she can't sleep.

-Harva's fighting style is inspired by the character Zafina in Tekken and Waterbenders in Avatar the last Airbender.

Zafina link: watch?v=k0d4urq-7X0

Waterbenders (see fighting style): wiki/Waterbending

Likes: Rain, Thunder, Mist, Swimming, Forests, night, the moon, cats, the sound of titan flesh being cut, horses, being upsidedown (helps her think), being on her own, reading, playing piano, cleaning (she is very slow but is thorough), tea (jasmine and berry flavours her favourite), whiskey, fresh clothing smell.

Hates: Hot days, the sun, dogs, messy environments, busy areas, lots of people, MP's, people who can't stand up for themselves, people who abuse their power (why she fully respects Erwin and Levi), wine, shallow people.


	7. Truth and Whiskey

Chapter 6

The next few months began to blend in with one another. I began to forget things I used to think were important, and started remembering things I would usually forget. It's odd when you think of adapting to your surroundings, you'd normally think of adapting to struggle, stress or worry. Not me, I was adapting to having people I could rely on; the kind of people who made the gruelling days fun and easier. The people you could call friends. They were those kinds of people who you aren't sure when they began to mean so much to you, but they did. As we got closer and closer, I couldn't help but feel as we were our own goofy family. This in itself made me more and more determined to succeed at the training, and join the scouts.

I had almost forgot the past. Almost.

There was a bite in the air as December came to an end. We were given a week off to go and visit families for the Christmas season. Fortunately for me, the entire Cadet camp would still be open so I could stay warm during the festive seasons. Nova said she was going to go see her brother who had been living with some friends in Trost for the time being, till they all enrolled in the Cadets next year. Oslo and Margot wouldn't shut up about going and seeing their family in Karanese.

"How many siblings do you have?!"I gawked,

"Two. Mum's expecting another baby too." Margot answered, to which I responded incredulously,

"Your mother is dealing with four kids and is expecting another one?" Margot shrugged her shoulders. I turned to Oslo,

"How do you guys cope?"

"You'd have to come and see for yourself, we really are a close family." His eyes brightened as if he had the best idea. Before he could even ask me I stated,

"no way, Oslo." His eyes became pools of pleading,

"Please Harva? It would be so nice to have you over. Mum and Dad really want to meet you too!" Before I could even ask how his parents knew my name let alone that they'd like to meet me Margot interjected,

"We talk about you in our letters home." She had that similar look in her eyes as her brother. I groaned, grasping at straws as I thought about ways to get out of this.

"I can't go." I stated flatly. Still grasping for something in my head, I looked at both of them. Oslo raised an eyebrow, looking unconvinced. Margot urged me on,

"Why not?" It clicked in my head suddenly as if a rubber band was snapped back to its normal size.

"Because I am still under trial. If The MP had any reason to take me out of this programme then this would be a perfect reason." I leaned back on the chair I was sitting on, my head held high in victory.

"Bullshit." Oslo barked. I jumped at the sudden anger in his voice. He never got angry. Not even people like Finnian had evoked this much bite in his voice. He continued with a clenched fist and even tighter mouth, "for someone as clever as you, you're being awfully blind Harva, this isn't us asking you as a friend, we are asking as family."

 _'_ _I know you are._ ' I wanted to say to him. _'I know you want me as part of your family, I know, I know. And part of me wants to come too, but I've done too much…seen too much to be accepted. If you're both lovely as you are…then you're parents must be…'_ My head was low and my mouth was shut. It was Margot to break the silence, her voice was soft,

"Look, we leave tomorrow morning on the wagon into town. Think it over, and if you want. The offer is there." I nodded. I got up and went to my room; Nova was lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling. I frowned,

"Shouldn't you be packing?" She continued to stare at the ceiling, but pointed to a pile of clothes in the corner. I could feel my nose crease up at the messy pile. I sighed, deciding not to bother mentioning it any more. My mind was fuzz, I needed to concentrate. I look out the window, seeing nothing but darkness. The wind was squeezing through the smallest of crevasses in the window, making a chillingly quiet howl. That made my decision to not sneak out.

I looked at the bunk bed and made the decision to climb up to Nova's. As soon I lifted my body she looked directly at me,

"Hey!" I closed my eyes before responding,

"shut up, I'm not coming up." As I was speaking I had hooked my feet into the frame and let my body lazily flop me upside down.

"You need to concentrate huh?" Her body shifting shook the bed. I could hear her voice come closer as she asked, "what's bothering you?" I peeped an eye open and looked up to see her resting on her elbows.

"The twins invited me to theirs for Christmas." She scoffed but stated,

"Not up your alley, the whole family thing, right?"

"No. Yes. A little…okay, I do feel like I have a family right now with you guys. I trust myself and all of you. I just don't like trusting on too many people is all." Nova stayed quiet for a moment. The next words that came out of her mouth sounded very deliberate.

"I'm in a similar situation to you." My eyes flashed open and I raised my head again to look at her. She motioned for me to come onto the bed. I did as I was told and sat on the end of her bed. She shuffled to the other end and began,

"So…you know I'm going to see my brother and his friends tomorrow." I nodded to encourage her on, "well, one of his friends, we…uh…" She trailed off, dipping her head.

"You what? Like each other?" Her head seemed to dip even lower.

"Yeah I guess." I raised an eyebrow,

"Then what's the problem?"

"None of them know about it. We have been friends since we were little and it might just make them uncomfortable, and put strain on our own friendship." She flipped her head suddenly, causing it to create a large noise as her head hit the pillow. I felt my face harden,

"You do what you want. Just remember the risk our job holds." She looked up sharply towards me,

"That's street-rat Harva talking. What would family Harva say?" She knows me too well. I looked down and said,

"From personal experience, I can honestly say that having someone you care about can make you both incredibly strong and incredibly stupid. It makes you powerful, but also hinders you. I had someone in the underground city, they were my rock, they taught me a lot of skills. They meant a lot to me. And I can honestly say I wouldn't trade any of the time I spent with them." I looked up to see Nova smiling,

"Thanks." She whispered, I gave a brief smile back before adding,

"But remember that we are different. And we don't think like each other, you might get too attached. Putting their welfare before your own, which in the profession we have chosen can be dangerous."

"Yeah. Thanks. How come you had a lover so young, huh?" I shrugged my shoulders,

"I'm two years older than you, remember. But, in the Underground City it's a new set of rules. People who live their all their lives there usually don't live longer than their forties if they're lucky, it's a disease ridden place. Gotta settle down younger if you want to have a family."

"I see. Are you still thinking of staying here this holiday?" I thought about it.

"Do you know what? I might as well."

It's not like I have anything better to do.

~O~

"Harva, will you stop fidgeting?" I stopped tapping my boot and gave an apologetic smile to Oslo. He rolled his eyes, turned and knocked on the door again. I suddenly felt itchy on my forearm, scratching at it furiously I looked around. Karaness was certainly a beautiful place to be. We had spent two days travelling, one night staying at an inn and would be here for two nights. The Gotham house seemed to be in a friendly neighbourhood; the houses were small but appeared to be well made. _'I bet I could find a good few coins stuck around this neighbourhood…or better yet, some jewellery.'_ I shook my head. The idea dismissed from my mind I turned to Margot and couldn't help but pout.

She radiated beauty. I was sure it wasn't even human. I knew when I saw the twins they were an attractive pair, but Margot seemed to shine when she was happy. It's hard to think of a time when in fact she was anything but happy. She was a long, graceful thing, it showed in her ODM usage and her body always seemed to be followed by tumbling gold hair and big, bright blue eyes. I am never one to feel jealous, but when it came to Margot, I think it's impossible not to. She was a catch in our cadet group, and even in the older groups. My thoughts were interrupted by a loud voice,

"Oslo! Margot!" I looked up to see a man gruffly holding onto the two. When he let go of the pair his eyes locked onto mine. I felt stiff. I felt like I wanted to puke with nerves. He walked over and looked sweetly into my eyes. They seemed to twinkle the same way the twins do.

"I'm Harva Akiyama"

"Yes, I know who you are. Oslo won't keep quiet about you in his letters." I looked over and saw Oslo's cheeks glowing pink, looking bashful. Mr. Gotham lifted his arms and I flinched away. He let his arms drop, but he gently reached for my hand, cradling it easily in his own. "Welcome to the family Harva."

~O~

It was the last night staying at the Gotham household. I looked around at the attic room, Margot and her younger sister's room. They both were curled up with each other, breathing softly. Eva, the youngest sister looked like the spitting image of Margot, it was almost creepy how all of them looked so angelically sweet. But staring at the two of them now, I couldn't help but smile slightly. I looked down at where I should have been sleeping; it was neatly folded, just the way it was when I came here. I hadn't slept at all since I got here. I rubbed my eyes and looked out the window to the moon. It was a quiet night, no wind, no rain, nothing.

When I entered the house for the first time, it was quiet for a split second. I could see everything in that time. Happiness. I saw happiness. A heavily pregnant woman in a rocking chair, knitting away, was smiling at two young children playing on the floor in front of her. There was the smell of soup in the air, so rich it filled my stomach just from the smell. Then, it began. The true happiness, it felt torturous. The children looked over from their game, their eyes lighting up with glee seeing the twins. The pregnant woman tried to get up from her chair, eyes spilling with tears. The twins ran forth to meet the onslaught of love.

"Harva." I jolted from the memory to see Mr. Gotham up the ladder, motioning for me to follow him. I gave the girls a once over before creeping to the ladder, following him. He sat at the table. Pouring two small glasses of something gold in colour. He motioned for me to sit, which I did. "I know you're a few years older than the twins, so I don't feel guilty about giving you a small glass." He pushed one of them towards me. When I lifted mine, he took a swig out of his own. I studied the glass carefully before taking a hesitant sip. "It's not poison you know." My mouth felt euphoric. It sang with appreciation.

"It's not that sir. It's been a very long time since I've had such a nice whiskey. Light and sweet. Is it a ten year?"

"Twelve. But very good guess. It's nice to have someone around appreciate it like I do. The Mrs hates my love for it. And people at work guzzle it like it's a cheap lager."

"It's a very nice one." I reassured. It was the best one I'd ever had. I was sure of it. His eyes twinkled with appreciation.

"Glad you like it. It's my own brew." I raised my glass in approval. He followed suit and we drank. There was a minute of silence before he spoke. "You don't sleep much. That a regular thing?" I took another sip. Giving me time to think of an answer. I was sure Oslo had told his dad as much as I'd told him. There wasn't any point in lying to him.

"It is in my life." He looked concerned, but didn't say a word. I took it as a gesture for me to continue. I stayed quiet for another moment, but when I looked into his eyes, I saw Oslo and Margot. I couldn't hide anything from him. He was also one of the few friends I had in this world. An instant rush of ease flooded through me and before I could stop myself, I was talking. "My parent's death seems to be my birth. All my memories are after that night. I don't remember how they died, and I don't remember much of them before then. My earliest memory is me running through the woods. I think the trees scared me more because they looked like hands, reaching out for me, to join my parents in the afterlife." I looked at my hand wrapped over the cup. It was white with pain. Slowly, my hand released the cup and my hand went back to a normal shade. There was a pregnant pause. Then he spoke,

"I must ask you…and it's your choice to answer me. I'm not sure if I even want to know what happened…but I am going to ask regardless."

"You're going to ask me what I did to get a bad rep with the MP's aren't you?" He shifted in his chair as if he had nails put on it.

"If Oslo and Margot trust you…then I'm inclined to trust you." I snorted,

"I'm not sure you can trust my kind." He raised an eyebrow,

"And who is your kind?" I took the last sip of the whiskey. Knowing it would be the last friendly thing I'd have in a while. The room already felt tense.

"The kind that doesn't sleep because what they did is so wrong in so many ways."

"And what is that?" I looked at him in the eye. I knew what he saw. He saw a person who had lost everything, someone who was not afraid of anything.

"A killer."

* * *

 **I know this isn't that great. But it's way overdue. Excited for the arcs to kick and for their adventure to begin soon.**


	8. Tea, Blood and Soot

**(Time skip from 846 to 849)**

 **Year 849: The 103rd Cadet Group's final two weeks before graduating.**

Chapter Seven:

No one's POV

"What's the brats name again?" Levi looked at Erwin who was sitting at his desk. Erwin spoke without looking at him.

"Harva Akiyama."

"And it looks like she will be graduating top of her class this year?"

"Yes." Levi scuffed his boot against the ground as he walked towards the desk, in a vain attempt to get Erwin to look up. When he got to the seat opposite of Erwin, he sat down, swinging a leg over the other.

"And why should I be so interested in her?" Erwin stopped scribbling on the paperwork. He put the pen down and looked up at the Captain.

"Because she was the criminal I recruited before you." Levi's eyes hardened. And spoke harshly,

"Is that why you want me to come with you for the cadets last week of training? You want me to meet her?" Erwin closed his eyes,

"That, and another reason." He got up and turned to the window, looking outside, "she came from the Underground City, I want to make sure she has turned into the soldier I wanted her to be." Levi interrupted,

"Really? You want me to come and see if she is a minnie me? Surely you're fully capable of seeing that yourself." There was a pause.

"I need witnesses. Part of her condition is that she has to stand trial again when she graduates. If she fails, then she won't be allowed to join the Scouts. I need witnesses to prove her value."

"Tch. I see. I would be the perfect person to stand on her behalf, one criminal to another." Erwin turned around,

"Given your background, yes. But the two of you should meet and you should see what she is capable of."

"Capable of? She that dangerous?" Levi snorted. Erwin's response was much more light hearted.

"You should have seen her when she was trying to escape. Difficult one, nearly killed Mike."

"Yeah and I've got the scar to prove it. Little Devil." Mike pushed his collar down so Levi could see a neat, white looking scar by his collar bone.

"Any closer and she would have your jugular." Levi commented. Mike snorted, Hanji intercepted the conversation,

"Sorry but I would like to know what she did to get such steep consequences as the death penality." Erwin looked at Hanji, then at Levi and Mike. He looked down at his desk and said coldly,

"Murder" Hanji whistled but Mike stayed quiet. Levi noticed that there was more information.

"How many did she kill, then?" Erwin still was looking down when he tentatively spoke.

"Thirty. All MP's" Both Hanji and Levi's eyebrows shot up like they were jolted. Hanji's hands slapped onto the table and she shouted,

"THIRTY! ARE YOU SURE?! A KID THAT AGE?!" Erwin remained calm and spoke again.

"Yes. Harva Akiyama was charged with the pre-meditated murders of seven members of the MP, then trying to escape from the blood bath she had caused she killed fourteen MP's in her escape. Then, over a six month period she killed nine other MP's while avoiding their arrest." There was a moment of silence before Levi breathed out

"well shit."Hanji now screamed,

"A new person with their own instincts and morals! And a killer no less than that!" Hanji's hand clamped onto her hair, face going an ugly shade of red. "PLEASE ERWIN! TELL ME ALL ABOUT HER! SHE IS ALREADY MAKING MY HEAD BRIM WITH QUESTIONS!"

"Four eyes, take it down a notch will you? It's already hard enough to not want to hit you." Hanji had turned around to Levi and retorted,

"You'd feel perplexed for hitting me?"

"Not even close. I just don't want to be on titan care duty while you're in the infirmary." Hanji had gone back to her calm self and turned away from him to sit in the chair next to him. Her notebook and pen in hand, she looked like an eager student, ready for the lesson.

"Fair enough Levi." She looked Erwin straight in the eye and asked, "Please Erwin, tell us about your first encounter with our Akiyama." Her eyes twinkled in anticipation to the story. Erwin began,

"After six months of avoiding the Military Police, she was found inside Wall Rose…"

~O~

 **Year 846, January:**

It was raining. Not heavy in any case, but it was a sudden drizzle. The day had changed from a somewhat bright and hopeful day into one that promised ominously that it can all change suddenly. A lot of the richer folk were not enjoying such weather, and were running into any shop they could see that would offer imminent shelter. One of these places was a tea shop, with a waitress who loved the rain, but hated company in any form.

"Of course it would have to start raining just when I get to work." Harva really disliked busy days, in particular when the customers would already be in a foul mood from the weather. Nora, another waitress spoke harshly to Harva,

"Stop whining. It's more chance to get some tips. Look, there is plenty of nobles who will be eternally grateful for a warming tea." Harva huffed, causing a tuft of her matted hair to fly up in the air and slap her in the face. Nora's nose wrinkled up at the sight. "And for goodness sakes, put that wild bush that you call hair up and make yourself look somewhat presentable." Harva's eyes perked up at an idea,

"Do you want me to wash up quickly?" Nora looked perplexed but reluctantly agreed,

"Fine. But you have two minutes. You got that?" Harva nodded as quickly as her head would allow before shooting off into the back room. She found a basin filled with cold water, but shrugged off the chill it had.

"Maybe the cold will shock my face into being alive." She looked tired, but she always looked this way. The water did little to get any of the grime off, but it did offer a temporary moment of alertness. This alertness made her hand reach immediately for her daggers, hiding discreetly under a large jumper. She put her hair up as best she could and shrugged at the bird nest on top of her head. She was able to tuck a lot of it back in on itself till it felt solid as a rock and looked like it. A small nod to herself in the mirror and she set back out to the café, she saw Nora at the counter, pouring lots of tea's. Harva grabbed the two closest to her.

"Those two are for the gentlemen over there by the window." Nora didn't even look up when she pointed. Harva spun around to see the two men she meant.

Harva walked over to them. And every single step she took every ounce of strength she had not to drop the tea and run for her life. The men were wearing very long capes. It was a good strategy to hide anything you didn't want anyone to see, an example would be Harva's jumper hiding her knives. And it was a good strategy for the two men hiding their ODM gear, except she could see the straps by their feet. She knew it all too well what they were and it was not for the right reasons. Harva plastered on a smile and a twinkle in her eyes as she walked over to them.

"Here we are gentlemen, your tea. I hope you weren't waiting too long." The clean shaven one smiled at Harva and replied gently,

"Not at all. Thank you for being so quick." She set them down in front of the two of them. The other blonde, the one with a moustache continued,

"Such a sudden change in weather, didn't want to get stuck out there." Harva smiled at him,

"I can imagine not. Especially if you're working hard enforcing the law." They both looked at her suddenly. She had the urge again to bolt in her feet but her gut told her to stand her ground. She smiled innocently and just pointed to her own chest, "I can see your ODM gear, you are the Military Police, no?" Their eyes stayed hard onto her as the clean shaven one spoke,

"no, we aren't. I am Erwin Smith Commander of the Survey Corps." Harva's heart sank into her stomach a little 'oh' came from her mouth, barely a breath, she knew immediately that they were dangerous. "She is an observant one, don't you think, Mike?" Mike nodded to the Erwin.

"Of course I am. You get a manner of all different people, with their own little story." Mike chuckled at that. Obviously found something funny about that but Harva felt anything but that. The adrenaline in her body was aching to be released, but she stood there, smile plastered on still, "Is that everything for you today gentlemen?" Mike sniffed the air around his tea, while saying casually

"No, something smells off here. Like it shouldn't be here." Harva's hand clenched around the tray she was holding.

"The green tea gives off an odd smell when being brewed." Mike shook his head stating,

"No. I meant to say someone shouldn't belong here. Should they, Harva Akiyama?"

Not a heartbeat had beat before Harva reacted. She hit Mike as hard as she could with the metal tray in one hand on the head, while grabbing one of the teacups and hurling its hot contents onto Erwin's chest. Before either could grab her, she had already darted out of the shop. Sprinting to a bustling market opposite the shop.

Harva knew that she had a head start as soon as her feet flew out the front door. She could hear the calamity inside the teashop as Nora screeched for her to come back, and several customers screaming at the sudden change of pace in the room. She dare not look back. Keeping her mind as calm as she could she decided to head for the bustling market. The rain was warm and slimy on her face as it hit her. Any other day she would appreciate the feeling but today was not that day. She bobbed and weaved through the crowd, knowing that her pursuers would dare not use ODM gear near bystanders, nor try to apprehend her when there could be harm to a large group of people. She smiled to herself, thinking that this might be the first victory of many more to come. She was now out of sight of the teashop, and stopped by a large group of crates, with her body half hidden behind them, she only then decided to look back. Both were very tall men she remembered, so she looked for their heads to bob up in the crowd. After a few seconds she could not see either of them. Her gut instinct told her to keep moving, and that is what she did. She looked behind her and found a small, cramped alleyway. She looked up and smiled widely, the roofs covered up most of the light, meaning no one would be able to attack her from above. She ran.

The other side held a somewhat dismal appearance. This street was completely empty. Not like there were a few people on the street, it was totally empty. Her stomach flipped and knotted at the sight. She thought about turning around and walking back into the other street but a looming figure blocked the way. If it were her pursuer or not she was unsure. Taking one more look at the street ahead of her, she looked for her options and found it in two scenarios. She decided to go with the first one, take a gamble and hope it went well. The next alleyway was possibly not thirty metres away. Her legs jolted into gear, and she sprinted as fast as she could. Harva felt horrifically exposed with her back to the air; it must have made her hyperaware of a noise and she could hear a zipping noise of cables getting louder and louder. She was about ten meters away and knew in an instant she would not make it down the alleyway. More likely they have several people on the other end ready to grab her. They were clearly ready for this scenario and she would bet that they were ready for only this one.

"Option two then."

The street was littered with cargo boxes, a wall of them almost as tall as the roof was only a few feet away from the alleyway Harva was trying to get at. Option two was to climb the boxes onto the roof, and this is what she would have to do. She looked behind her to see Mike zooming towards her, he looked happy, Harva was even happier. Smirking at him as he got no less than six feet from her she darted a different direction. She scrambled up the vertical ascension as if they were stairs. After reaching the top she looked down to Mike, who had a surprised face on him. Harva snorted, and jumped up to the roof, running away from him. She ran straight and she ran fast as she heard a bellow behind her.

"SHE IS ON THE ROOF!" Drawing a dagger from under her jumper she continued to run. Though this option had saved her, she was in their territory now and that made her nervous. This dangerous game of cat and mouse could be her demise. She'd have to get down from the roof somehow, but jumping was not an option, they'd snatch her up.

She took the chance look behind her again and glad she did. Mike was almost on top of her. He dove down as soon as she had her head completely facing towards him. As soon as he was to collide with her, she spun around mid-air, gracefully dragging the dagger through the air. His eyes widened and he lifted his head up as far as it would go. It still made an impact to his body. It caused a noise of complaint over the drag of the collar bone, whining that it had missed it target of the throat by only a few inches. Harva's foot dragged against the tiles before she toppled over, her hands were already out to catch her fall. She did a walkover and accelerated to the end of the roof. She could hear Mike's heavy footsteps behind and decided where she would have to go. She lifted herself up onto the chimney of the roof before jumping down into the hot abyss, hoping that it was not lit. She tried not to scream as the speed of her fall and unknown of when she'd reach the bottom terrified her. The skin on her hands and face was being torn away by the rough interior of the chimney.

A loud thud reached her ears just a split second before the pain of the fall came to her ankles. She tentatively put weight on it, sighing to finding it not broken. She clambered out of the fire pit as quickly as she could manage, the people in the house were a blur, and she didn't hear them shouting her to get out. Shoving her way through the door she was immediately blinded by the light, the rain had stopped just in that moment to let a violent ray of sunshine burn her eyes. She cursed and stumbled forward into the street, her ankle aching, her knuckles bloody and her body covered in soot. A cloud drifted over the sun again. And in the shade of it Harva opened her eyes, only wanting to close them again. About a dozen scouts were surrounding her, Mike, and Erwin were walking towards her. She looked at Erwin, his eyes were still a warm shade of blue, but appeared to be harder than before. Harva's hand clutched tighter to her dagger, lifting it slowly to them. Thinking she could still take them on. But, she knew she had lost the instant she thought she could fight her way out of this. Her hand went limp, the dagger clanged against the cobblestone. She sniffed and wiped her cheek, knowing there would be blood on it. The sting was a dead giveaway.

Mike was holding his cut shoulder but let it drop. He put a handcuff on his own bloodied wrist, and began to walk over to Harva. She gave her own hand and felt the cold chains on her wrist. She closed her eyes, knowing to expect a loud thud on the back of her head, then darkness.


	9. Preparation

Chapter 8: Preparation

When Harva woke up, she was surprised to find her head on a pillow. She blinked harshly for several seconds, she could make out her surroundings. The wall she was staring at seemed to look damp and cold. The harshness of her body's shivering seemed to confirm her suspicions of being alive still. She sighed quietly in relief. She wiggled her fingers, glad to know that they were still functioning properly. Her head hurt a bit, a quiet throb, one of those ones that was irritating because you couldn't ignore it. She inhaled deeply, stretching her body with the inhale. She felt like the stretch wasn't satisfying enough, so she tried again. Funny, she thought stretching would hurt much more than this after all the palaver, considering what had happened.

Harva's eyes flew wide open, realisation and adrenaline spiked up her body. She tried to jump up in sheer panic, only for her to trip up and fall on her already swollen head.

"Ow" She breathed out. Looking down her body she realised why she had struggled so much. She was in a body restraint. She wiggled around so she could prop herself up, the experience was exhausting and by the time she had pushed herself back to the wall she felt too tired to prop herself up. She was hot too, and it made the entire experience all the more frustrating. She looked around to find her face go pale as to where she was. She was in a prison of some sorts. And she was in a cell that only had a bowl and pillow. Up until this point, Harva had a ringing in her ears, which was now gradually fading as she became more aware of here surroundings. She heard voices. Her head lolled to the sound, hoping to find familiar faces. Erwin and Mike were on the other side of the bars, they were talking to another person who she did not recognise. The taller one of the men turned around to look at her, causing Erwin to do the same.

"ah you're awake." Erwin sat down. Harva attempted to prop herself up too in the most dignified way she could manage. It was very hard, managing to get half way up before leaning heavily on the wall. The coolness of it was seeping through the thin material that kept her together and felt some sort of relief from it. It appeared Erwin was waiting for a response from her.

"I'd rather wish I wasn't awake, rather be dreaming right now that I'm here." she turned to Mike, "don't suppose you could come here and pinch me? I'm a bit tied up." she shrugged her shoulders, emphasising the body restraint. Mike looked more than unimpressed as he replied back icily,

"I'll give you more than a pinch." His hands balled into white fists, Harva smirked.

"That's enough, Mike." Mike gave a stern nod and muttered,

"I'll be outside if you need me." Erwin gave a quick nod but stared at Harva, who was propping herself up entirely on the wall. When she had finished, Erwin began.

"I take it you know why you are here." Harva's eyes suddenly went cold. Colder than normal for her. She had been reminded of something that hit her deep in her core. The core that makes you a human being, able to care and sympathise.

"I know why I am here." She looked Erwin dead in the eyes and said "but I don't think I should be."

"thirty men's deaths not a good enough reason?" Erwin tested,

"no. Not when seven of those men were killers anyway."

"who did they kill that was important to you?" Harva's eyes looked just as dead and defeated as when Erwin arrested her.

"my parents." Erwin thought about his answer for only a split second.

"and you have no evidence to prove this?" Harva's eyes flashed with sarcasm now,

"honestly Erwin, I'm not the person who would premeditate seven high ranking MP's deaths without a reason."

"I didn't think you were." There was a small silence between them before Harva asked him,

"so, why are you still here? Surely I'm now the MP's problem and not yours?" Erwin looked away for a brief moment, clearly thinking about a crucial decision. And once he had came to that decision, he looked back to the girl in prison and said,

"because I want to offer you another choice." Harva Immediately felt suspicious of him, but egged him on.

"And what kind of deal is that?"

"One that would free you of all charges." Harva thought for a fraction of a second to put the pieces together,

"I evade death and get to serve like a dog. Some deal."

"Like a soldier, we need more people like you." Harva was taken aback by the last little bit.

"Huh. Somewhere I'm needed...it's been a long time since someone told me I'm wanted." She looked at him with a playful, broken smile. "You sure? I am after all, very dangerous." He looked as serious as ever,

"Join the Survey Corps. Pay the debt you owe in a way that some people couldn't even dream of. You're already a capable soldier for our line of work, we need people who can keep a cool head in a situation, those who think around the problem at hand, have no problem with working independently. We need people like you to bring humanity back!" Harva noted his eyes were alight with something, something she hadn't seen in very many people. And knew that when that look came about their eyes, they are worth remembering. They were her own people. Truly. They had gone to hell and came back from it wiser, not broken. That fortitude, with that intelligence was a rare thing indeed, it screamed power in a way no crown could ever hold. Even though she was not particularly happy with the choice Erwin was insinuating, it was a lot better than the alternative. And it had helped her make her decision almost immediately.

~O~

"and the rest is history." Erwin sat back up, "she will be expecting to graduate at the top of her squad, and will be facing trial again before she joins us.

"You mean if she joins us." Levi interjected, "like you said, the MP's will be determined to get her back."

"Like the dear girl was theirs to begin with." Hanji added,

"yes. They will probably want her dead. But we have a fairly strong case already. We just need some people to witness her for a few days."

"PLEASE LET ME COME WITH YOU ERWIN! PRETTY PLEASE?" Hanji had gone back to the ugly shade of red, her head was brimming with questions and ideas about Harva Akiyama. Erwin smiled at his section commander,

"of course. I'd like you: Levi and Mike to come. We will have to ask her friends to stand witness, as well as Shadis. It should be a strong case." There was a moment of silence, Levi was the one to break it.

"So go on then, you've given her backstory, I'd like to know her in the now."

"Please do Erwin, tell us a bit about her life in the cadet squad." Hanji continued Levi's thoughts, "We will need to know her as well as we can if we are going to have to support her."

"I have not yet seen her this year, but Shadis has been sending me reports on her progress." Erwin answered,

"what's the verdict then?" Levi asked,

"Harva Akiyama, member of the 103rd cadet squad, will be graduating at the top her class, possibly with the highest score we have ever seen. She was built to be a warrior from an early age, which is shown and demonstrated throughout her training. I'd even go as far as saying she is on par with you, Levi, in her skill."

"you think that highly of her?" Hanji interrupted, Erwin looked at her and nodded,

"I do." They sat there again quietly before Hanji questioned,

"and what of her mental state? Do you think she will be able to kill titans?" Levi turned to look at her, this look, she had learnt that meant Levi was angry. It was not a white hot rage, that made him want to shout, scream and kick. This was a much more frightening anger. It was one he held very close to his heart, a deep rooted anger that was quiet, and brooding. One he knew that very few people shared.

"she has killed worse monsters than titans. Much worse." Hanji also knew better than to question him. So she turned back to Erwin,

"What do you think, Erwin?" He pondered on it for a moment.

"I'm not so sure about her mental state. It seems that over the years she has come out of her shell to those she trusts. She has incredible instincts, and trusts her gut, which serves well in our line of work. With those she trusts, Shadis says she is clever enough that she has some capability of leadership with the right people. There is no doubt she is a tactical, cold and dangerous warrior." He paused. "But I feel that she takes loss very badly. She went out to purposefully eliminate those who broke her family. And as we all know, in this profession, loss happens often and hard. It might break her again."

"She has already felt loss. It will give her the edge in the long run. Those who are able to go through that kind of stuff, tend to be the strongest. And we are the strongest because we can deal with all the crap thrown at us." Erwin agreed with Levi, by nodding his head,

"I hope that will be the case, Levi. For now, you are all dismissed." They all go up, and left Erwin's office. Levi was the first to get out, seeming as if he was in rush to get away from what Erwin had just said. Hanji chased after him,

"hey, you ok?" without even looking at her he responded cooly,

"how much you wanna bet Erwin is going to buddy her up with me?"

"Really, that's what you're so worked up about? You having to baby her?" Mike had caught up easily with the two of them and towered over the two, adding his share into the conversation,

"you're going to be babysitting the entire group. It's your year to try it." Levi stopped dead in his tracks.

"you're kidding right?" Mike shook his head. Hanji smiled innocently,

"Erwin must have something big planned for you." All she got was a grumble and the back of his head to them. Mike turned his head back to Hanji,

"you think he's angry?" Hanji shrugged,

"Hard to tell." They continued to walk together back to their own offices. After a minute of silence, Hanji looked towards Mike and asked, "say, did she actually nearly kill you? Harva I mean?" it took Hanji a few seconds to realise that Mike stopped in his tracks. She turned around and looked back to him.

"She had the chance to kill me, she just wanted to get me off her back." Hanji looked at him, knowing there was something else,

"oh?"

"she had a certain look in her eye. I don't think she knew it yet, but her body did, that she might be getting a way out of her life of running." Hanji smiled at his thought,

"the wings of freedom are a powerful thing, maybe she did." She turned around and continued walking. Giving Mike a half hearted wave of goodbye. She thought long and hard about if Harva could be like Levi, another one who could be the sign of hope and strength for the world. An inspiration, a powerful being.

~O~

"I can't believe it." Oslo whispered

"We did it." Nova chimed in.

"After this week...it will be over." Margot breathed. I looked from my friends to the sunset we were all watching. In our second year, we had climbed over the wall that locked in all cadets and found a valley which had a lake pooling at the bottom. The sun was just beginning to fall under the hills, causing the normally tranquil pool to look as if it were on fire. I smiled quietly to myself.

It no longer hurt me to smile any more. Nor did I wince when I looked at my friends. It felt like the past three years have healed the wounds of my past. The scars were there, just like they always would be. I would always be the street child at heart, and I would still be dangerous to everyone on the outside. But I knew that I could have been a lot worse, and I have my friends to thank for that. And a new family with the Gotham's.

"We aren't done yet." I stood up and looked at them all. "We still have a week to prove that we've earned a spot in the top ten." Margot pouted,

"Why does it matter if we all want to be scouts anyway?" I rolled my eyes before explaining again for the millionth time,

"Because then that would be four spots less for Military Police wannabees." I had a flashback of Finn and his group of friends. If anything, they'd become more dangerous over the years, which made them incredibly bold and stupid. I thought about Erwin suddenly, I had briefly seen him in my second year at the start, but he did not come again this year. "And I have a promise to keep." They all looked puzzled. I shook my head at them; I didn't think it was important for them to know. Nova got up and thumped me on the back. Apparently, this was how she showed affection.

"Well. I gotta tip my hat off to you. No matter what shit's happened; you've got us through it." I frowned at her,

"Mainly because you get us into that shit, and don't bother to clean up after yourself."

"Because I know someone will do it for me." She winked at me.

"Wow. Nova complementing someone, what will happen next, a hug? That's a frightening thought." Oslo sounded suspicious.

"She saves that for Eren." I added. The twins laughed while she punched me in the arm. A light blush was to her complexion.

"Forget I even said it if you're gonna be like that." I smirked.

"shall we head back then?" Margot asked as she got up, there was unanimous murmur of agreement. She slid slid down the bank, disappearing into the trees, followed quickly by her brother, then Nova. I looked at the sunset one last time, thinking about how the next time I'll see something as beautiful as this, I'll be hopefully free from walls.

When we got back to the mess hall we had several unexpected visitors. The four of us were in our own little bubble as we entered, babbling on about this week's events when a chirpy voice came through the crowd of people in the hall,

"hey guys!" I recognised the voice to be Armin's. He pushed through the large group of people towards us, followed by a taller brunette and dark haired girl. Eren, Mikasa and Armin were close friends of Nova and her brother, Caden. He had barged through the three of them to meet his sister.

"Are you nervous?" He asked. Nova responded with a raised eyebrow looking unimpressed.

"Of course not."

"She has nothing to be nervous about. She'll rock it." Eren supported her. I thought I could see a small hint of happiness in Nova's eyes as Eren said that. I looked at the four of them.

Eren for the most part, was way too loud and headstrong in my opinion. Though I found a lot of what he preaches on and on is similar to my own goals, I couldn't help but think he went about the wrong way. I was concerned that he would end up killing himself trying to do something way out of his league. I was more concerned about his death as how Nova would handle it, or wouldn't handle it. That leads me on to Mikasa, the girl had talent, a lot of it. She seemed to be on par with Nova and I, but she was like Eren's shadow, and that freaked me out. No one should be so close to people, as my Underground City me would say. Never. If Eren were to die, again, I don't know how she would handle it. Leaving me with Armin, who, if I had to put any trust into making decisions for me, it would be him. The guy was much more intelligent than he let on. He was shrouded with self-doubt, and I had a feeling that when he finally conquers his fear, he'd make a capable tactician. I shifted away from the group, immediately feeling on edge because of it. A pair of strong arms caught my own as I backed away.

"And where do you think you're going" Oslo whispered, holding on tight to my arms. He got real tall over the years. He was well over six foot. On scale with him holding onto me he looked like a titan. The only person I remember being taller than him was Mike and Bertholdt.

"What does it look like to you?" I hissed back, he chuckled and said,

"come on, humour them a bit. Eren thinks you're really cool and wants you to teach him some stuff. I had resorted to trying and stomping on Oslo's feet to get him off me, the dude didn't budge.

"Tell him to go and live in the Underground City with a gang for seven years!" I was whining now. There wasn't any point arguing over this. Oslo would not let me go until he knew I was staying.

After several quick promises not to run away like 'a feral cat' Oslo gradually let go of me and we re-joined the larger group. Seeming oblivious to the conversation that Oslo and I had just had.

"So why are you guys in our rec room?" Oslo asked the four of them. Caden was the one to answer them.

"Apparently it will be really busy this week for your finals, so they need all the hands that they can get to make sure everyone was monitored." I interjected,

"That doesn't make any sense. The 103rd Cadet group is easily the smallest of the three groups here. Why would they need so many officials?" That is when Caden gave me a cheeky smile.

"Because of you my dear." I recoiled the moment the word dear escaped from his mouth, but I did my best to ignore it and ask,

"Why?" He shrugged his shoulders and was about to answer me, but Margot interrupted him,

"Well from what I heard when I eavesdropped on Shadis, three of the commanders of the regiments are coming to watch you." There was a shift in the air as everyone's mouth dropped, including my own.

"You mean?" Was all I could say before Margot nodded cheerfully,

"Nile Dok, Erwin Smith and Dot Pixis are coming to watch you for a bit." I had sprung at her and began shaking her violently.

"And you have known this for how long?!" She still looked as happy as ever, even though she was being thrown around like a rag doll.

"Oh, not long." I didn't think I would get a better answer out of her. She had a tendency of conveniently forgetting where and when she has got anything that she shouldn't. Mainly food or information.

The rest of the night was just chatting to the group. But my mind was far too distracted, thinking about the week, and how hellish it will be. I barely spoke a word to any of them, for my mind was racing about the trial, the commanders, the MP, everything.

* * *

 **Sorry it has been so long! I have had college finals and ahh! (Sorry again!)**

 **I'd really appreciate some support/review/criticism about Not Gonna Die. Oh, and I am also thinking about re-starting my black butler fanfic. any thoughts? Love to hear them!**


	10. Tall, Short, Crazy, Eyebrows

**A/N: Melissa! Thank you so much for reviewing! Your feedback spurred me on to get this chapter done and out the way.**

 **Now I can look forward to the fun bits. This really is just an explanation/filler chapter.**

 **Thank you to those who have liked and favourited my story. 3**

 **~ReaderAloud**

* * *

 **Chapter 9:**

"ALL RIGHT MAGGOTS IT'S TIME TO MEET YOUR MAKER! THESE THREE YEARS YOU'VE SNIVELLED AND GROVELLED HAS LED UP TO THIS LAST WEEK YOU WILL BE TESTED ON!"

There was an unshakeable silence as Shadis walked down the platform to hurl abuse at us. It was a painfully hot day. Scorching beyond belief, straight ahead of us were heat waves. I could smell the sweat of the people all around me. It was beyond disgusting. There was hardly any wind to relieve the blaring sun, no clouds either. It was a serious detriment to our abilities as I had told the gang. My surname starting with an A meant I was in the front row. All I could do was stare right in front of me with nothing to look at apart from the cracked, dry, ground, and unfortunately, Shadis was just coming into view.

"BEFORE I BEGIN EXPLAINING THE RANKING SYSTEM TO YOU…SALUTE TO YOUR HIGHER UPS AND FUTURE COMMANDERS! COMMANDER DOT PIXIS OF THE GARRISON REGIMENT! COMMANDER ERWIN SMITH OF THE SURVEY CORPS! AND COMMANDER NILE DOK OF THE MILITARY POLICE!"

A mechanical noise came from all around me, salutes. My own hand was part of the chorus as the three men descended the stairs to stand next to Shadis. Erwin looked ageless, as composed as ever. There was some swell of relief inside me to see him, seeing that my ticket out of all charges was twenty feet away, seeing my new life…and then it shrank away. I could feel now instead of relief I could feel fear and it hit me hard in the gut. Or maybe it was the heat. Regardless, Nile Dok seemed to initiate that feeling of dread. I had met him a few times before; none of them were pleasant memories. Despite having the easier job compared to Erwin, and having better living standards, he seemed more dishevelled. I thought it was funny almost; people who live in luxury seem to give themselves more trouble than they can cope with. I almost snorted, but held it back when seeing the final Commander. Pixis seemed to the opposite of both men. He was considerably older but had a pink hue to his skin; I looked quickly to find a decanter of what could only be alcoholic substances hanging from his waist. As quickly as I looked at them I looked away and back at the heatwave rippling over the earth. Shadis began,

"OVER THE NEXT WEEK YOU WILL BE EVALUATED AND MARKED IN NINE DIFFERENT AREAS, THESE ARE: ODM GEAR, COMBAT, STRENGTH, SPEED, AGILITY, ENDURANCE, THEORY, STRATEGY AND IN FIELD TRAINING! IN EACH AREA, YOU ARE ABLE TO GAIN THIRTY MARKS! TEN OF THOSE MARKS ARE EXECUTION ANOTHER TEN FOR PEROMANCE AND FINALLY TEN FOR THE EFFORT YOU PUT INTO IT! THESE MARKS ARE RAW, WE TRIPPLE THEM TO GIVE YOU A FINAL SCORE! THERE IS A WAY HOWEVER TO GAIN ADDITIONAL MARKS! BONUS POINTS ARE AVAILABLE FOR COMING IN THE TOP IN ANY AREA, TEN MARKS ARE AVAILABLE FOR PEOPLE TO COME FIRST, AND THEN AS THE RANKING GOES DOWN SO DOES THE MARK. YOU CAN ALSO GAIN MARKS FOR OTHER ABILITIES THAT WE WILL TEST YOU ON OUT OF TEN, BUT ARE NOT CRUCIALLY ON THE CRITERIA. NOW, DO ANY OF YOU MUGS HAVE ANY QUESTIONS ON WHAT I JUST TOLD YOU?" There was silence again. "GOOD! NOW DISPERSE AND WE WILL CALL YOU TO WHERE YOU NEED TO BE. TODAY WE WILL BE TESTING YOU ON SPEED AND STRENGTH." I groaned the moment he turned his back and I could hear audible mumbling. It didn't take long for Nova, Margot and Oslo to find me.

"Man, I won't be sorry to say goodbye to his shouting" Oslo teased,

"Me neither!" Margot chimed in she turned to me with an expression of worry, "Harva are you okay?"

"No. I am hot and bothered and it is horrible day and I don't want to start the week off with my worst area. I suck at strength." Nova looked at me,

"But you are fast too. Think of them as a counterbalance to one another. And besides, even if you don't rank in the top ten for Strength but put loads of effort into it then I am sure you'll still do well." I grumbled an agreement and kicked the dirt underneath my sweaty boot. Despite Nova's fiery attitude the majority of the time, meaning a lot of advice she threw out was usually along the lines of 'go do one or get lost' she did offer occasional meaningful bits. I looked up at the three of them; there was something in their eyes. Grit. A determination. I couldn't help but feel a bit of that myself. Smirking at them I walked off, in some vain attempt to find some shade somewhere.

"Come on. It's starting to smell of sweat." I declared.

"And just where do you think you're going my pretty?" Who the hell would say something so chilling. I turned around just in time to see some shape come hurling towards me. Instinct took in, my hand reached out to grab what I assumed was a collar. Carrying my weight and the shape, It began falling to the ground. It was a loud thud and it sounded like the air was knocked right out of them. A dry cloud of dust covered the unknown person to me.

"If you wanna keep your head, I suggest that you stay down and your mouth shut." A strained giggle came from the pile of the person.

"Oh wow! He was right! You're so quick! You're reactions are so acute!"

"Who the hell said that?" Was all I could manage before the dust settled, the first thing I noticed was a hopeful looking badge on the jacket. A scout emblem. Next, was a shine of glasses, blinding me for a fraction of a second before I could see a pair of wild eyes. They looked hungry almost, just as insane as the mop of dark brown hair on their head.

"Hanji, I told you that so you wouldn't freak her out." That voice, I looked over to see the giant that was Mike standing next to the twins and Nova. The three of them were saluting as if their lives depended on it. There were two other men, one that I immediately recognised, Erwin was standing on the left. In the centre, there was a man barely any taller than I was, his eyes were a metallic grey, dark and brooding. Something he and I shared was dark circles under our eyes. When I looked into his, I felt like I couldn't do anything, he had a fierce and powerful demeanour. I had forgotten about the person, Hanji, underneath me until their finger gently prodded my hand.

"Sorry to scare you my dear…but would you mind letting go? I'd like to get out of the dirt." I let go immediately and backed away. The shorter male snorted and flicked his hair out the way. It was jet black, and seemed to be an undercut. He bullied Hanji,

"Doesn't sound like you at all, normally you're rolling around in your own filth."

"That's enough." The authority in Erwin's voice was chilling. As if I was under a trance by the last few seconds of what has happened, I snapped out of it. I saluted, firmed my stance and blandly stated,

"My apologies." I looked back up to Erwin. Though initially, the thought of seeing Erwin meant I was one step closer to freedom, I hadn't added up all the pieces until just then. And now my head swirled with what they'd want to do. They were all here to witness, testify, that I was a safe guinea pig. Erwin's job depended on it and they were here to make sure I excelled. A sickness in my stomach began to arise. I attempted to swallow it, but my throat was so dry it was a sad failure.

His face looked calm. This made me think that he was thinking about something pretty difficult. He closed his eyes, and reopened them, walking over to me. Giving a brief look at my friends,

"At ease, all of you." They all looked pitifully uncomfortable as they slackened. Nova looked like she was balancing on a sharp blade. He stopped in front of me to look me over, once and again, from head to toe. Then he smiled warmly, and offered his hand,

"It's good to see you again" I would say I took his hand, but in reality it engulfed my own as we shook hands.

"And you, Commander."

~O~

"I've worked out why all of you are here Erwin, but you have that look in your eye that tells me there is something else." I and the four Scout members were in Shadis's office. Thankfully, it was cooler than outside, but the small area meant it was tight quarters for the five of us. The last time I had been this close to Mike he smacked me in the head and left me unconscious. He was staring very intently at me, actually they all were. Hanji, I had learnt was actually Erwin's second in command looked rabid, watching my every move, seeing how I absorb things, it was pretty intense. It wasn't however, as intense as the darker haired mans, Levi's. His face was a mask, I couldn't tell what he wanted or was looking for in me, and that put me on edge. I turned to look at Erwin, waiting for an answer. He made me wait for quite a while before speaking,

"It's nothing you should be concerned with. For now, focus on the week ahead." Looking at my boots with annoyance for a few seconds I nodded stiffly in agreement.

"Whatever you say, Erwin." I looked up to see him smiling warmly towards me.

Hanji, who had been relatively quiet since we entered, spoke, directed to me personally.

"So, how are you feeling about this week?" I looked at her, then back to Erwin who nodded.

"In all honesty, I'm a bit nervous. While this window has offered an extension on my life, it has come to my attention that I don't know how long for. If I am recruited into the Survey Corps, I have survived until I go out past the walls then it could all go to crap." Levi, who seemed like he wasn't listening, had raised his head to turn to stare at me,

"Well, are you going to answer the idiot's question, brat?" I felt my skin prick at the word brat, narrowing my eyes I replied steely,

"Like I said, I'm nervous, but I was going on to say that that isn't anything new to me. My life has hinged on being nervous." He scoffed slightly, and I felt myself want to shrivel back into myself. Erwin interjected,

"I just wanted to see you privately before you go off to start this week. Know this, we are all behind you." I looked over to Mike,

"Even you, tall-ass?" He looked a bit shocked, but smiled and answered,

"even me, shorty." I smirked at the retort I had thought of,

"That's good to hear. By the way, I'm sorry for that slice I gave you, how is it by the way?" He smirked too, trailing a thumb over the scar it had left on his collarbone.

"still shocks me how a shorty like you can do so much damage."

"Get used to it" Levi mumbled.

* * *

 **I am sorry this is so short, I am sure there is many spelling/grammatical errors. Please forgive me, I have been stuck on this chapter for so long. I am sooo done with it. Please leave a review/idea of what you'd like to happen.**


	11. ROMANTIC POLL OPEN NOW! (plus AN's)

**A/N: I am soooooooo sorry that I haven't updated it yet. Uni life is fucking mental and I am so sorry for going mute. I know a few people quite like this story. Well I have good news for you IMA WRITING IT AGAIN!**

 **yey.**

 **So before I post it, I'd like to let you know that I have created poll. The poll is about who Harva will end up having a relationship with. Now, initially I had someone in mind anyway, because I believe as the plot goes on Harva will be more in need of some form of support (tryna not spoil what i have planned is hard XD)but also who doesn't want some smut hehe. Anyway, I open it to you lovely lot to suggest. I will say that I may or may not go with the winner of the poll but I think it will be interesting to think about for me regardless.**

 **The Options are as follows:**

 **Levi**

 **Erwin**

 **Mike**

 **Hanji**

 **No one**

 **Other**

 **Link in my profile!**

 **P.S I do not want anyone to say Oslo as the other, they are family and have none of that sort of relationship thank ya very much.**

 **Very much appreciated if you do vote, I hopefully will be posting soon. If not, pester and demand it of me. 3**


	12. The End of the Week

**A/N: Just wanted to say thank you for all your patience guys! Really mean a lot to me!**

 **You can now vote for who Harva should be with, the link is via my profile.**

 **imaninja41: Thank you for your lovely and informative review! As you can see I have brushed through the tests a bit (I didn't want to stay too long on them otherwise I think I'd get bogged down with them). But I think there will be some more interaction with the 104th Cadets. Mainly due to Nova wanting to say goodbye to her brother, Eren, Mikasa and Armin. But I feel that Harva will probably be a little more interactive with the other characters ie Jean, Marco, Annie etc. It would definitely make a nice dynamic, so thank you for the idea.**

 **Also, in regards to the idea of the brotherly relationship with Mike too, I can see that and also quite like this thought.**

* * *

 **Chapter 10**

 **End Of the Week:**

 **No One's POV:**

So, it was the end of the week. The last week they had to prove their worth. All of them. And now that it had come to the end, it was clear who would be in the top ten.

Erwin, Mike, Levi, Hanji had all been here this week to see all the results come in. Nile arrived today and they all knew who they were looking out for in the cadets last test; In Field Training. Harva had been somewhat of a surprise in many ways. While she excelled throughout most of the year, she had put herself into the tests to the point where she placed in the top ten in eight of the nine categories.

All six of them were on a platform up a tree. A wooden cut out of a titan was in front of them. Opposite them were two people, one had a stop watch, the other was holding a flare gun upright. He looked at Shadis for confirmation, Shadis nodded back. The flare shot up and the other pressed the watch to start.

About a minute into waiting, two people came into the opening. Eyes were fixed on the other staring their hatred to each other. Shadis recognised the two immediately,

"Our fastest ODM user on the left is Finnian Claymore" He paused, then added, "awfully arrogant as well." By the time he had said that, Claymore had reached the titan first, but he had to fend off his rival. "Margot Gotham's instincts are as sharp as anything, the only thing that she can do better is her nimble work on the ODM. Always too happy."

"These two are on opposite teams, correct?" Nile asked,

"Correct, Dok" He looked puzzled,

"Then where is the rest of their teams?" As if on cue, six people emerged from the forest. Nova was hanging low to the ground, almost too low, showing off no doubt. Oslo was high above the rest of them. Harva was sticking to the edge of the forest clearing, making her way towards Scarlet, Selene and Sarchosa. Before Shadis could even introduce the newcomers Harva had shouted in a frighteningly loud voice,

"NOW!" Harva was a blur of speed, her acceleration was phenomenal, when she came back into focus she had her legs tucked into her body, still going extremely fast she was about to collide with Scarlet, Sarchosa and Selene. She pushed her legs out last minute and the line of three went flying down to the ground, their wires completely tangled with the others as they tried to retract them. As soon as that had happened, Nova had uppercut between Margot and Finnian. Apparently Finnian was totally oblivious to what was happening until it had happened. He flailed a bit in mid-air, but was able to recover, however by then it was too late. Oslo had zoomed in, and had already cut the nape.

"NO!" Finnian shrieked defiantly. They all descended to the floor. Shadis was smiling as he spoke,

"The other three that performed that lovely tactical attack are the top three of the 103rd Cadet Corps. The boy is Oslo Gotham, respected by all cadets. Heaps of leadership skills but takes a lot of things to a personal level." He was high-fiving his sister. He turned his attention to Nova,

"The girl who looks like she has a bee in her bonnet and squaring off with Claymore is Nova Lanari. Naturally talented in all field exercises, and in fact she's brilliant. Shame that she is an insufferable smartass." He turned to look at Harva who was looking directly at Shadis, her eyes burnt into his for a brief moment, before turning to break up the fight that was inevitable between Claymore and Lanari.

"And who is the other girl, Shadis?" He smiled to Dok, who seemed to be hopeful that it wasn't who he thought it was.

"The one that no doubt came up with that little plan of tactics herself. Harva Akiyama." Nile gulped before Shadis continued "She always pushes herself past the breaking point, but her spirit seems unbreakable. Which causes her to excel in anything."

Erwin was going down to them. The other four followed. After a moment of watching the scene, Shadis began to join them.

 **Harva's POV:**

I shoved my way in between Finnian and Nova. I hated it when she was like this, it made me panicky and annoyed.

"Nova, back off." I looked pointedly towards Erwin, who was walking towards us. She got the message and backed away from Finn. I sighed in relief and turned to face him. The expression he was wearing was far too familiar. I had seen it for the last three years when he had failed and come behind us.

"It's a good thing your kiss ass Commander is coming to save you Harva." I was bored of him. So very bored.

"Unfortunately I will be far too busy to kiss anyone's ass when I'm in the Scouts." I made a point to look at him then the three behind him, "you lot however should start practising your pouts now. I hear the MP's love a good suck up." Scarlet hissed at me, like a genuine, foul hiss from an animal. I kept my face dead and walked away, back to my trio.

The people with flare gun and stopwatch were in conference with each other. Oslo gave a giant smile to me and clamped me on the back, hard.

"I bet they're deciding how to dish out all those points to us!" He was so grinning so hard. All I could spit out back to him was,

"Probably." He went back to his sister,

"You were amazing, Margot! With that delay we had at the beginning I thought we wouldn't get there on time!" She smiled her radiant smile before replying in a bubbly tone,

"Oh but we can't forget Nova and Harva's great work. That uppercut was incredible! I thought you were going to hit the ground a few times!" Nova grinned back triumphantly,

"Yeah well at least someone believed in me to pull it off." She waggled her eyebrows in my directions. I rolled my eyes, realising it was my turn to compliment them all. I crossed my arms, sighed and said flatly,

"Great job you guys." They all smiled together then, and I had an instant flutter in my stomach. A sickening realisation that this was as idyllic as it would get for us. The next time we would be in the woods would be when we are fighting titans, and for our lives. I captured the moment in my head. A picture perfect moment.

"Come on short ass! Share the love!" Oslo was advancing towards me with his arms outstretched. I backed away immediately but he caught me in his vice like grip and hugged the death out of me. He even lifted me above his own height, wobbling me a bit and I was terrified.

"Oslo! Put me down! It's scary up here!" He laughed but did not let me go. He responded,

"How can someone who has mastered ODM be terrified of being a little ways up?" I had managed to wiggle my hand out of his grip and elbowed him hard in the shoulder.

"I trust ODM more than I trust you!"

"Take that back!"

"It's true!" He tried to throw me away like I was a doll he had in mock anger. I however fumbled quickly for the handles to my ODM and let loose the cable. They embedded themselves high up in a tree. I zoomed upwards to the branch, grabbed hold of it and swung myself upside down. Bat like, as I enjoyed it. Oslo shouted,

"Show off!" all I could do was grin back down at him. A lightness spreading over my body again that I got from him, Margot and Nova. Joy. I was happy.

* * *

 **Until next time,**

 **ReaderAloud 3**


	13. The Results

**Chapter 11**

 **Harva's POV**

"Are you not nervous guys?" Armin asked tentatively to the four of us. We all looked in unison at each other, waiting for what the responses would be, but then shook our heads replying with a chorus of,

"Nah"

"Not really"

"It'll be fine"

"Nope." I knew that to be far from the truth. None of us were sleeping. We were barley eating or saying much to one another from the bag of nerves we had become. It had gotten to the point that whenever anyone opened a door in our recreational room we would all stop breathing and watch them to come in. Only to realise it was just another cadet coming in. Not a higher up with the results that would change our lives. It was then Nova's genius idea to go to the other building where the 104th Cadets were in. This was a hope to distract ourselves from everything around us. When we arrived, we saw Eren, Mikasa, Armin and Nova's brother all huddled together on a table with space for the four of us.

I was on the edge of the table, my back turned to the group, but I was still listening to them. Occasionally turning my head to look at someone as they awaited a response.

"Harva, is everything alright?" It was Mikasa who asked. Over the last two years she and I got a little closer. I still found her attitude to Eren beyond insane but I had managed to find some common ground with her. But I still couldn't tell her what else was bugging me so I just turned, smiled a little too sweetly and shook my head at her.

"I am okay. Just a little distracted." Oslo and Margot frowned at this response, but knew not to push it any further. I had spoken to them about what had happened, and I doubt it was for their ears to hear anyway, let alone Mikasa's. I turned back around and thought about two nights ago, when I was summoned back into Shadis's office.

 _"_ _What do you mean I may not have to go to court?" Erwin just looked at me with a triumphant expression on as he replied,_

 _"_ _I mean exactly that, Harva." I was beyond speechless, all I could manage was,_

 _"_ _But how?"_

 _"_ _We have more people than expected who said they would stand for you. I was expecting only Hanji and I to give solid evidence about you. But we have more." I still was a bit baffled,_

 _"_ _But…who would?" Levi sighed,_

 _"_ _If I knew you were this slow I wouldn't have bothered putting my name down." I found the joke and sarcasm to be less of a shock and more that Levi had said he'd vouch for me. Of the four Survey Corps members he seemed to be the least interested in me. While they were all watching my tests he seemed to have the most bored expression on his face. He was watching me watching him when he added "Personally, I think the only vital bit of the testing done here is the In Field Training. And to put it simply…you surprised me with your ability." I was taken aback for a second. Eren had only ever spoken well of Captain Levi whenever he was mentioned. Stating that he was the greatest soldier humanity had ever seen. He was worth more than all the army put together. A living legend. And here he was, in his odd way, complimenting me._

 _Quickly I moved onto Mike. It seemed odd for him to be vouching for me when I had almost quite possibly killed him._

 _"_ _And what's your motive?" He smirked a little and responded coolly,_

 _"_ _Same as Levi's" He paused then also added in, "but I also want to get a good few swings at you. Revenge for nearly slicing my throat." I smirked,_

 _"_ _That's fair enough." I paused the same way he did and added at the end "good luck with that." He scoffed at the challenge and I felt a little better in myself. "So, was there anyone else that wanted to support me?" I asked and Hanji was the one to respond,_

 _"_ _Oh yes. Shadis, Ichiko and nineteen from your cadet group._

 _"_ _Nineteen?!" I half shouted. I don't think I could name nineteen people in the cadet group let alone ask them to support my case. Hanji chuckled,_

 _"_ _Why of course my dear! You have a tight knit friendship with those three. I think they might have spoken to several of them to ask if they would."_

 _"_ _Dammit Oslo." I whispered to myself. It had to be him. He was the most persuasive out of all of us, well to the rest of the 103_ _rd_ _cadets._

 _"_ _What was that?" Erwin asked,_

 _"_ _Nothing." I replied. Erwin looked at me with a serious notion,_

 _"_ _You should have more trust in your comrades, Harva." I scowled at him. I wanted ask him how many men and women died on his watch? How many had he sacrificed because they had trusted in him? How many bodies had a paved a broken path, towards humanities freedom?_

 _I knew the answer. I wanted to ask him but I stopped myself. I thought about the faces that had so much promise for life and beauty and how I had slaughtered them too. I was no better than Erwin. But he and I were so much more than human. I could see it in all of their eyes, we were all the same. Erwin, Levi, Hanji, Mike…and now me. Trust was something that I was taught to fear. The very word tasted bitter on my tongue. And I do. I hated it. The only ones I decided I could trust were the twins and Nova. And even then, could I trust them with my life? We had yet to experience any deaths yet. Would I be willing to let them put their life on the line if I messed up? Would I be willing to mine on the line?_

"Harva?" It was Oslo who brought me back from my memory. He had a look in his eyes that I knew. He was worried for me. I waved him off,

"Sorry, got lost in my own thoughts. I'm going to step outside for a few."

"Do you want me to come with you?" I shook my head,

"I'll only be gone a few minutes." He nodded and turned back to Eren who was holding most of the conversation.

Outside was considerably cooler than the packed room. It was almost the middle of September, we had upheld the tradition of baking a cake with Nova on her birthday and eating it. The weather was still hot as balls during the day, but at night it was so much cooler. It felt nice. It was then that I realised I was not alone. Before I could speak, a monotone, almost soothing voice spoke,

"How's the prodigy feeling?" I had only spoken to Annie a few times before, she and I were similar in social situations. We did not like them very much. And whenever we did speak it was usually brief. Eren seemed to like her. I responded back as dully as she did,

"Like it was all a waste of time." I put my elbows on a banister, not looking at Annie. She walked over to the far end of the porch and did the same.

"It will be for you if you die." I had remembered then that Annie intended to join the MP's. I hardened my voice,

"We all die eventually, Annie. The greatest gift we have is death." I turned to face her direction. She didn't move.

"That is a morbid way to look at death." She said,

"No. It's a realistic way to look at it." I paused thinking if I should continue, I did, "I have lived my whole life running away from death, I was so busy doing it that I forgot that I was alive." She interrupted,

"And now the tables have turned. You decided to stop running away from it. And now you are running at it, realising that is how you live."

"You got it." She made a little noise and answered,

"It's very noble of you." I scoffed,

"noble would be saying that I intend to save humanity. I'm being selfish if anything, I have my personal motives the same as you do for joining the military police." Her shoulder's tensed and she turned to face me. Her face looked like she was to expect a scolding.

"I guess that makes you as noble as I am then." I smirked and responded,

"We are only human." She looked up at me then with piercingly deep gaze. It almost was as if she wanted me to tell her that again. "I'm gonna go back inside" I murmured I began walking back to the door,

"Harva." She called after me, I paused and looked back at her, "I appreciate your honesty with me." I kept my gaze hard and said,

"For what it's worth, I hope you get the results you wanted." Before I could see her reaction I shut the door behind me.

~O~

"MOVE IT!" Nova screeched. The crowd that was hovering inside our recreation room were all murmuring to themselves. However, once Nova had her say they parted for us. Leaving a gap big enough that we could go single file to the dreaded door; with the paper that would let me know if I had accomplished what I set out to do. Nova went first, her finger trailed for her surname in the middle, then it slid across to the number score. She scoffed and chuckled to herself before moving to the ranking number. She stiffened. I could not wait any longer. Pushing past her I saw where her finger was,

 _'_ _Lanari, Nova_

 _Total: 978/1080 points_

 _Grad Rank: 2_ _nd_ _'_

"No one has ever got over nine hundred" Someone whispered,

"And to think someone got higher than that? Those two are scary…"

"Scary cool! They must be up there as the best already! Maybe as good as Captain Levi!" My irritation came through and I shot my eyes up to the top of the list to find mine:

 _'_ _Akiyama, Harva_

 _Total: 1137/1080_

 _Grad Rank: 1_ _st_ _'_

I felt numb. It was like all the emotion was sapped out of me. My legs wobbled a bit.

"Wow! Harva, you did great!" Nova coughed loudly for Oslo to add, "Oh. Yeah. You both did great!" She huffed this time and walked out. The three of us watched her leave with the rest of the group. Margot joined the two of us,

"It may be best to leave her to simmer for a bit." Oslo and I exchanged a glance at each other and nodded our agreement. Of the four of us, Nova was the most vocal about the week commencing and the results. She felt like she had done the best in the exams and her determination to beat everyone had caused a bit of uproar. Nova wasn't the most popular person this week to say the least. She had been giving people passing by dirty looks regardless of if they had looked at her or even if she had known them. I had to give it to her, as far as performing well this week, she had done exceptionally well. But she had been waking up earlier and training harder, which was not much good for me, as my sleeping this week was steadily becoming non-existent. Nova didn't sleep at all last night and told me that it sounded like I had got a full thirty minutes. I was beginning to feel the effect of it as well my nerves being shot by the results. I walked off without the twins outside to get some fresh air.

The air was still hot. It clung to my clothes and made want to take off my jacket immediately. I complied, knowing that it would only get hotter, as it was not even midday. The heat had not given up this week. It seemed as if it was determined to make each and every last one of us doing this test suffer. I hated it. All I could think about to make me feel a little bit saner was thinking about a shower tonight. Able to wipe off the grime and begin my next journey as a scout member.


	14. A Fresh and Clean Start

**Wowee two chapters in less than a week! The only reason I did this was because I really hated the last chapter and wanted to leave it on a more interesting note. I have broken up for my Xmas Holidays and hope to upload more often as I have no assignments or work to do over it (yay). I hope you enjoy this chapter 3**

 **ReaderAloud**

 **P.S thanks for the reviews, means a lot.**

* * *

 **Chapter 12:**

The journey was a long one to the scout headquarters. It was far out of the way despite it being in the Trost District, I was very sure I had never seen so much green in my entire life. It seemed as if it was tens of miles into the forest.

"I guess this makes it perfect for training. Being inside the trees like this." I thought aloud. Everyone in the wagon looked at me. There were ten people who joined the scouts this year. That was including the four of my friends. I waved them off hitting my temple with one finger to indicate that I was thinking out loud. Nova roller her eyes but gave a wry smile, she was thinking the same, obviously.

 _'_ _After Nova stomped off from the results, I did not see her for the rest of that day. I took the twins advice in saying to leave her alone, but when it came to being six o'clock the next morning and no sign of her, I began to worry. I decided to try and go find her, checking all the normal places she could be, all of the recreational rooms, the training grounds, stables, ODM equipment room. Nothing. I checked the last place that I hoped she would be. Thankfully, she was. Nova was sat up in a tree, watching the sun rise where the lake and mountains were. I was sure it was one of the most beautiful places inside the walls. It had to be. I hadn't been there in months._

 _I did not say anything as I ascended up the tree. Climbing carefully as the dew was clinging to the moss on the branches, making it slippery. I didn't want to start my journey as a scout with a broken arm or rib. When I was just a branch below her she spoke,_

 _"_ _Took your time." Her voice was dead, and it made me uncomfortable, all I could do was respond honestly,_

 _"_ _Yeah well, you seemed like you needed space."_

 _"_ _Don't I always?" She bit back. I frowned and began to climb another branch that was near enough the same height as the one she was on. Nova continued with her venom "Here comes Nova, the angry and bitchy cadet, always better than everyone else."_

 _"_ _You are better than everyone else" I interrupted,_

 _"_ _NOT YOU!" Her shout was so loud it made birds take flight. My heart sank, she was crying. Her fists were shaking and were white as she clenched onto the branch. "I was supposed to be the best! My dad, my dead dad trained me from when I could walk. My life has been nothing but being the best at what I do!" She continued, "But you. You Harva, you and your cool attitude, you and your cosy cushy way with the Commander got you a sweet spot at first place." I could feel it inside me. My stomach was sinking, condensing, getting hot._

 _"_ _I don't like what you are insinuating, Nova." My voice was barely a whisper, and hers was a loud shout._

 _"_ _I HAVE TRAINED MY WHOLE LIFE!"_

 _"_ _AND I HAVE RAN MY WHOLE LIFE!" Nova seemed to get a jolt from that. It seemed as if she was struck by lightning. Her eyes dazed, then refocused, blinking away her tears of anger. She looked at me, desperate, and began,_

 _"_ _Harva…" I couldn't hear her saying my name. I couldn't even see her. The damage had been done._

 _"_ _To think someone as brilliant as you Nova…could turn to thinking that I would be as petty to sleep around, to get what I want, is beyond you. I am fighting for my life, literally. I got that score because I am good at killing. I am a bastard for it and I know that. I am a monster. We fought together, you have been my best friend these years. And now you turn on me that I got a better score than you?" I stood up, not caring that we were twenty feet up in the air. I could see Nova now, she was crying even more now. But I still did not care. I was hurting her but I was hurting me too._

 _"_ _Harva…please" was all she could say. But I had to say it…no… I screamed it._

 _"_ _PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE THE REASON I DON'T TRUST ANYONE!" I lunged at her._

 _We fell. Neither of us cared, we were too busy crying, I was trying to get hold of her jacket, and once I had managed, I had to let go again. The wind was knocked out of me. My head snapped onto the ground and then the light went out in my head._

 _When I came round, the sun was blinding me. It scrambled my mind and burned my eyes. I wheezed and tried to roll on my side. A voice called out, it sounded distorted, wrong. I tried to ask them to say it again but only tiny pockets of noise came from it. That seemed to be enough for the voice and it came closer, louder. It was still wrong, but it sounded like someone I knew. Then, the light was no longer in my eyes, something was blocking it, tentatively, I opened them, blinking a few times but I could focus on a face. It was Nova. She was still crying but had a huge smile on her face. The light behind her illuminated her; I smiled back, or tried to. She cried even louder at this response and hugged me tightly. I wanted to cry out in pain. My chest hurt a lot. But she let go of me quickly._

 _"_ _Harva, can you hear me?" I nodded slowly, my head seemed to only be able to take that much. She said the next bit slowly, "When we fell, you took most of the impact…you've bruised your ribs and hit your head pretty hard. You might have a concussion." She was cradling her left arm into a chest._

 _"_ _Your arm" was all I could weakly say,_

 _"_ _It's sprained, but not broken. I think." Her crying had got under control. She looked at me and continued, "Harva…I have never seen you or anyone that angry before. You turned into someone I didn't know. I didn't know how to stop you. But when we fell…you grabbed my jacket and twisted me in the air… you let me fall on you. You saved me from getting hurt any worse." I looked down to the floor, my head was ringing so badly but I had to say something to her._

 _"_ _Nova…I am sorry. I did not want you to see that side of me."_

 _"_ _Is that the…" She trailed off, and I nodded,_

 _"_ _That is the monster inside me. I- I-" tears spilled out my eyes. It was my turn to cry. Every heave hurt my head, my chest, my heart. Nova hugged me, and let me cry it out. When I was done she let go and looked at me._

 _"_ _I'm sorry I brought out the worst in you Harva. I'm sorry. You bring out the best in me and I shove it aside like its shit. You pushed me further and greater than I ever thought I could go. And now I realise that. Now I also realise that I still have so much to learn, and you have so much to teach me. Please. Don't be angry anymore."_

 _"_ _Never" I whispered back.'_

"Alright cadets, you are here. Wait in the courtyard for your orders." We saluted the Survery Corps member and slid out one by one. My ribs ached with the pain of getting out. According to the nurse at the cadet camp my bruises would heal in about three weeks' time, it had already been two, and they had gone to a dull ache. I was under strict orders to not overexert myself this week. Something Shadis had passed on to Erwin. He had also passed on that Nova's hand was in a similar position. Though she could go on ODM this week, she had to take it easy and no blade work.

The courtyard was bright, a well was directly in the middle and there were bundles of hay laying everywhere. It didn't seem to be very official. We all walked over, a little dumbfounded. There were several tall towers and a few smaller, square ones. Seemed a bit of a mess in all honesty. There were low whispers about how long they'd have to wait. Not a moment too soon, a group of five horses came galloping into view. The one in the front, a black horse came straight towards us. The other four went in another direction. The giant horse whinnied as they came to a halt in front of me. I winced trying to see who it was. When they moved the horse back a bit, their body blocked the sun. My eyes locked with cold, dark grey eyes and I fumbled for a salute.

"Rookies, I'm Captain Levi, I'm going to be in charge of teaching you how to survive." He gave me a brief look before continuing "Or at least try. It is a different world out there." He got off his horse, and he immediately looked less intimidating. Until he scowled and nodded in past us. "This way" he walked straight threw us and we all followed suit.

After entering one of the towers and climbing up two flights of stairs we reached a door. He opened it and found that there was about five bunk beds with two square trunks at the end of each. I wrinkled my nose, looking at the room.

"It's filthy." I thought I had said this a lot quieter than I actually had, but Levi walked into the room saying,

"My thoughts exactly, Harva." I flinched a bit. Worried he might add some curt order to my remark. But he didn't. Instead, he continued,

"This room will be yours, girls. There are cleaning tools and sheets at the bottom of the building in a cupboard. Boys, I'll show you where you are. I want both room's spotless before you come and find me. I will be the judge of you. He turned around and paused to give us one final look before walking out of the room and issuing the boys to follow. We waved to Oslo, who waved back in a timid way and went off with four other boys and the Captain. Margot, Nova and I were left with two other girls. I didn't have a clue what their names were. One girl with straight black hair spoke,

"Man, I thought he would be cooler."

"So did I." Margot agreed. I walked into the room. It was dusty and smelt bad. I felt the wood of the bunkbed, happy to find that it was still sturdy.

"We best get to work." I said loudly. The four of them stopped gossiping and looked at me with an incredulous look. "The sooner we get it done the sooner we can gossip about how cool or uncool Levi is." The black haired girl let out a blow of air in some form of annoyance but did not disagree any further. Let's go downstairs and find the cleaning cupboard.

After we found it we realised it was more like a cleaning room. Shelves were stacked with all types of polish, polish for: horse equipment, ODM gear, shoes and wood. There were plenty of buckets stacked up and a manner of brooms in the cupboard. I decided to take control of the situation, as no one seemed that enthusiastic about cleaning. We started with the dust, everyone grabbed a broom and we swept the dust out of the window. We beat the beds and pillows in a vain hope to get the dust out of them, which seemed to work surprisingly well. We also did the bunkbed frames, the ceiling and the fireplace. Everyone took several rags and we polished the trunks and frames. I sent Nova and the black haired girl, Ellen, to get a few buckets of water. Nova was complaining about never realising that wood needed to be polished or that dust settled on beds. She was doing such a shoddy job I thought she'd enjoy something physical like going down all those stairs and coming back with a full bucket of water. When she did I could see everyone was at their limit. We had been at it for a good few hours. I told the rest of them to make the beds when Nova and Ellen came back. They all left and I sighed. I added the bicarbonate soda to the water, mixed it a few times and began scrubbing the floor with a hand brush.

~O~

"It's acceptable." Levi inspected the room from head to toe and that was the compliment I got. I did most of the work; I spent the next hour after the girls had stopped working washing and re-washing the floor. I felt quite mad. "The evening is yours to spend it how you will. Dinner is served at the bottom floor when the bell goes. It may be an idea to help out the boys who aren't doing such a good job at cleaning." I probably looked at him with a 'fuck you' expression on my face because my ribs were killing me and I'll be damned if the boys need help. He seemed to take this as a hit towards him.

"Or you can laze about. The choice is yours."

The minute he left I flopped onto my bed and stared into the distance. Hoping that the boys would hurry up and be done soon.

After an hour of lazing around the bell went for dinner. We all got up and followed suit. Already there was a lot of people here, and they were queuing for dinner. The five of us joined the queue and by the time we had sat down at an empty table the boys had got to the end of the queue. Looking hot and disgruntled. Margot waved them over as we continued to eat,

"It's horrible." Oslo whined, "We can't seem to get anything off!" I rolled my eyes,

"Levi said Harva did a good job while the rest of you were lazing around." One of the boys said, the girls seemed to take offence by him saying this but my head shot up,

"He did?" The guy nodded and continued,

"He said that whenever he passed by you were the only one cleaning properly." So he did notice. Why the hell did he act like he hadn't? It seemed odd for him to be quietly stalking us and what we are doing. Maybe it was some kind of test? I couldn't be sure but I looked around to see if I could see him anywhere. Nothing. Oslo brought me back out of my questioning,

"Harva, help a brother out please?" He was giving me big soppy eyes and annoying as it looked I couldn't say no.

"Fine. I'll help you out after dinner." He squealed like a girl and gave me a big hug, which killed my ribs.

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 **Please leave a like and follow if you enjoyed this, leave a review if you have any questions, worries or praises!**


	15. The First Week as a Scout

**A/N: Thank you all for favouriting and following my story! Means a lot!**

 **AkatsukiShizu3: Thank you for your lovely feedback! I love Oslo too (he's such a sweetheart.) As far as your question goes with romance I'm not sure yet. A lot of people have asked if it will be a Levi one which means it may be going that way.**

 **AuroraStargazers: Thank you very much for such positive feedback! I loved writing the argument between Nova and Harva. I'm not so sure about the romance side of it yet. I want there to be a romance line but I don't know who it will be yet. It looks more like Levi than anything as of now. In regards to about how often I post it's sadly just whenever I can. For the next two weeks or so it will hopefully be weekly but after that I'm not sure. Hope that helps you!**

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 **Chapter 13**

 **The First Week as a Scout**

The first week that passed by was hardly what I would expect at all from the notorious Scouting Regiment. The renown of the skill and power an ordinary scout would face meant that you would have to be on the top of your game, physically. But instead, we had no official training so to say. There was neither fitness training nor any ODM gear training thus yet. Instead, this week, we had been doing heavy theory training. We were studying the Commander's intense tactical long range scouting formation. It was only then I realised how much of a genius Erwin was. It was laid out for the optimum ability to see titans and minimum casualties. This thought always made me nervous. There was no doubt I did fantastically at training camp, but I doubt that any of that would be of much use when it comes to real life. When we would be outside and not even the night could save us. My thoughts were interrupted by Levi, who was sitting on front of the desk, pointing at a giant sheet with Erwin's strategy on it,

"You must stick to Erwin's plans. You pledged your life away and it's his to use as he wishes. The only things that will give you a better chance at surviving is in fact Erwin's plan and your will to live." What he said was harsh but it was true. I felt like the only way I would know if my will would be strong enough is till I get out there and face one myself.

"That and your skill." Nova added in a hushed voice. Levi didn't notice and said,

"that wraps up this lesson for today. Same time and place tomorrow." There was a loud noise of people shutting notebooks and the shuffling of feet. When we reached the door I told Nova and the twins to go on without me, and once they had left I turned to Levi,

"Captain Levi, may I ask you something?" He turned around to face me while putting his jacket on,

"What is it, Akiyama?" I took a moment. I wanted to word it correctly,

"I was wondering if you have been in contact with the Commander recently?" He stared at me for a moment, but then walked past me, heading to the door. Before I could be left there alone he motioned a hand and said in a deadpan tone,

"walk with me." I followed a few steps behind. We were halfway down the corridor before he continued, "why do you want to know that? He is a very busy man." I felt a pang of annoyance but replied as calmly as I could offer,

"I know that, sir. It is just that it has been a week since I arrived, and I was wondering about the…" I trailed off. My mouth was going dry but Levi thankfully got the gist.

"You're wondering about the hearing?" He looked behind to me so I nodded. My throat was still scratchy. We walked up a flight of spiral stairs at the end of the corridor and I managed to get out,

"It's the fact that I haven't heard anything from him. It makes me tense." My ribs still were sore from the fall and the tension of the hearing was enough to make me hurt again.

"Erwin usually does stuff that makes everyone tense."

"Like asking for my life to be spared at High Court?"

"Precisely." We had come to the top and began down this corridor. We stopped in the middle at a closed door. Levi turned around to face me, "Even though it is worrisome at his silence, know that he is doing it because he wants a definite answer from the court before he gives you one."

"So the court is still in deliberation about if I should be trialled?" He nodded and said,

"But to put your mind at ease, I have spoken to him and it is looking like it's in your favour." He must of seen the relief pass over my face.

"Thank you, Captain." Even though he looked dishevelled and tired, his eyes gave a more calming effect to me. I felt relived about the news and it seemed everything was painted in a better light. He began again,

"There is no mistaking that Erwin put me in charge of this year's Rookies, he wants me to keep an eye out on you. I'm not one for babysitting but if you can prove yourself I may take you under my wing." As if my body knew what that meant straight away I burst out flabbergasted,

"Excuse me?" He rolled his eyes and clarified,

"If Erwin has trust in you that you are going to be great than I have to trust his judgment. Only thing is, I will have my own test to see if you are worthy of my respect." My excitement wore off quickly and was raised with speculation I raised an eyebrow incredulously,

"What like watch how well I clean?" Bad move. His eyes hardened again.

"No. Your test is to survive." That was a bit morbid. But I've dealt with it all before.

"I have been through it all. I'll survive." He gave me a look that I could not quite place. When he was done looking at me that way he turned the handle and said without looking back,

"This is my office, you'll be called here when Erwin has the news. Don't get lost along the way." And with that he shut the door in my face.

~O~

"Okay, when I joined the scouts, I thought it would be more cool training than being in the stables!" Nova skewered a piece of hay with horse crap in it aggressively. Oslo was polishing the saddles and Margot was washing horse bridles. I was also helping Nova with the sweeping of the hay out. We had been in the stables for a few hours and it was getting sweaty and tedious. We received new chores from Captain Levi every day; they were mundane and tedious: Prepare the potatoes, polish ODM equipment, groom the horses and clean them out. This was on top of the lessons we had in the morning with the Captain. We hadn't seen any real training as Nova put it. The only ODM we saw was either on other people or when we were cleaning it.

"You think that this is why they lose so many newbies?" Oslo asked in a quiet voice. I thought about it, then answered,

"It could be. I must admit I am shocked that we haven't been given any practical training as of yet."

"Good grief, maybe if you stopped whining and got on with your chores then you'd have time to practice all your fancy tricks." We all looked up to see a man leaning in front of the doorway. He was tall and blonde, with an undercut and a cravat. He reminded me of Captain Levi, but in all the wrong ways. I stood up straight and responded to the stranger,

"Excuse me?" He made a sighing noise that Levi made, and it made my skin crawl a bit,

"Where are my manners? My name is Oluo Bozado, member of the Levi squad and best titan slayer around." I raised an eyebrow,

"I though Captain Levi held that title?" He looked a little startled before he continued with his façade,

"Well…rank wise he is but I'm close to him." His arrogance was already annoying me,

"And what about Mike?" His eyes flashed with annoyance and he began to walk over to me it what was supposed to be a menacing way I assumed,

"Look here greenhorn, nobody likes a smartass."

"Especially the idiots." I grumbled. I got a snigger from Nova and a little giggle from the twins. He looked more annoyed now,

"Alright brat, I tried to be nice to you but—" suddenly, his face contracted into one of pain before he shrieked, holding his knee up to his chest. My instinct was to look at Nova for an explanation but she was just as dumbfounded as I was. That was until we saw a woman no bigger than I was with strawberry blonde hair behind Oluo." Her face was hard and seemingly annoyed by Oluo.

"That's what you get for trying to scare the new recruits." Oluo somehow managed to say,

"The little shit needed to be put in her place!" The woman rolled her eyes and said,

"These trainees have been under Captain Levi's wing so they probably have been put in their place." She turned to face the four of us and her face changed to one that was warm and sweet. "Sorry about the blabber mouth there." She pointed to Oluo who was no longer jumping up and down like a maniac. "He thinks he is Captain Levi and usually forgets his place."

"Hey! I have one of the highest titan kill rates!" The woman ignored him and said,

"I'm Petra, I'm also on the Levi Squad." She waved and we all said hello and introduced ourselves. When it was my turn to say my name the two of them looked me up and down before Oluo sneered,

"The Harva who our beloved Captain has told us about?" I frowned,

"You guys know me?" Petra chuckled,

"Honestly, the way Levi puts you up, you're a bit of a legend already."

"What?" Levi had been bigging me up. The only reason I thought he would do that is if Erwin had asked him to. That way people wouldn't turn on me. I felt warmth in my stomach; it made me feel rather reassured that Erwin and Levi had my back like that. I felt like I could trust them.

"Just so you lot know, you're free to train whenever you like. Levi will announce that probably tomorrow." Petra commented. Nova let out a huge sigh of relief,

"Thank fuck!" That was good news,

"I thought we would be stuck doing this forever." Petra looked a bit uncomfortable but said,

"Well…chores are a daily thing. But they should only take you about half of your day. The theory practice for you will end this week and then you'll have free time to do some training." There was only one more day of training then, we could wait that long. Then, my ribs would be fully healed and we could do as much practice as we desired. My hopes were unusually high, but then, another soldier came through the stables and said,

"Cadet Harva Akiyama! You are being summoned by Erwin Smith, you must go to Captain Levi's room immediately!" My heart and stomach sank.

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 **Please leave a review! ~ReaderAloud**


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